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Crock, 9/27/23

It might seem incongruent to think of colonizers as sentimental, but many have a certain image of the colonized as a backwards but noble people over whom they must regretfully take a parental role. This rarely survives a collision with actual flesh-and-blood colonial subjects, who are in fact real people who when given the opportunity will quickly become just as addicted to screentime as you are.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/27/23

Damn, after breaking him down emotionally, Mud and Buzz are strong-arming Rene into signing his intellectual property over to them before turning himself in for a long prison sentence, with only a vague promise of an unspecified “cut” of any profits. Sounds like Mud Mountain is back to being a jerk again, which, ironically, makes his character interesting again, so I say, keep grifting the grifter, buddy!

Hi and Lois, 9/27/23

Big news, everyone! After nearly 70 years trapped in a timeless stasis, Trixie Flagston has finally grown just a little bit larger! Or maybe she finally crapped her pants for the first time, who’s to say, the temporo-biological aspects of legacy comics are mysterious and frankly distasteful.

Gasoline Alley, 9/27/23

Wait, what? After a little light mauling those government agents have just given up on reclaiming this human child from its ursine captor? The America I believe in doesn’t negotiate with terrorists — or, should I say, bearroris[a giant vaudeville hook drags me off stage]

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Hi and Lois, 9/11/23

Sometimes it can be easy to forget that we live in an age of technological wonders. For instance, if you have a leak in your house, you can contact a plumbing professional, send them a photo or video of the problem, and have them give a preliminary diagnosis and estimate, all without the need for them to make the trip out to your house. Hi and Lois absolutely hate this, for some reason.

Dennis the Menace, 9/11/23

Not sure if this guy is supposed to be the Mitchells’ minister (in which case their denomination’s clergy has undergone a significant sartorial downgrade in the last few years) or just some hapless victim Dennis has decided to annoy while Henry and Alice stand idly by doing nothing to stop him, but that is the face of a man who is either unable to politely get away from a little moron who’s so theologically misguided that he reinvented Scientology, or the face of a guy who isn’t listening to anything that little moron is saying because he has to take a huge dump. I guess it could be both.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/11/23

Look, Rene, the days which you’d get paid for your musical talents and flim-flam schemes in cash or cocaine are over, you current operate as part of an interconnected network of specialized professionals, so get used to it and stop kidnapping people.

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Hi and Lois, 9/2/23

If you want a glimpse of how in mid-century America, syndicated newspaper cartooning used to be your ticket to a comfortable life, consider the central position the great suburban participatory leisure sports of golf and tennis hold in our legacy strips! It’s a different time now, but these strips can still teach us a lot about the folkways of suburban Connecticut and similar communities, and if I’m reading today’s Hi and Lois right, those places are on the verge of civil war. Hi thinks he can just ride this one out on the golf course, but there will come a time, and soon, where he’ll have to take a side.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/2/23

Oh ho, it looks like Rene, aka “Professor Mirakle,” is back to tie up some loose ends, possibly by murdering his erstwhile disciple Mud! Ha ha, everyone will be real sorry they didn’t accept his apologies, once they find his bullet-ridden corpse in this hotel room three days from now! Honestly, though, it seems much more likely that Rene is just trying to get a cut of the money from Mud’s apparently quite lucrative Li’l Fergus character and the songs he co-wrote and/or inspired through fake guru powers. It would be funny to see an attempted murderer make use of the legal system to enforce his intellectual property claims, but honestly, it’s not like he hasn’t done it before.

Between Friends, 9/2/23

Sorry to this lady who is being abandoned by all her friends and family, but I will never get over the phrase “We live in a global world.” Do we? Is it a global world we live in? Is it really? Is that why you can use a globe to depict the world with such uncanny accuracy?