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Mark Trail, 7/21/20

Oh no, if these guys have to spend too much time around Rusty, the promised “action movie” will become a stomach-turning body horror flick rated NC-17 for extreme, nightmarish imagery.

Hi and Lois, 7/21/20

Speaking of which, shoutout to Hi and Lois for coming up with an absolutely terrifying cartoon character that Dot and Ditto are watching on TV. Dot appears to be levitating, presumably because she’s possessed by the figure on the screen, who is clearly a demon straight from hell.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/21/20

Honestly, it’s a relief to know that, deep down inside, Les hates himself almost as much as we do.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/9/20

Look, Loweezy, it’s not his fault. Hootin’ Holler is trapped in amber right on the cusp between a subsistance farming society where most trade occurs via barter and a money-based economy tied into the larger world. The very idea of currency is unimaginably exciting to Snuffy, and because this is a comic strip where time is frozen, he’s never going to get over it.

Hi and Lois, 7/9/20

Hey, everyone, remember the participation trophies millennials got and it warped their minds, somehow, according to angry paragraph-long posts I saw on Facebook? Well, they’re giving them to the next generation too, except we can’t actually afford trophies anymore, so they’re even worse. America is doomed!

Six Chix, 7/9/20

After some deliberation, I’ve decided I like this one. Do you think we’re supposed to recognize the tune he’s singing? Whatever, he’s a squirrel singing about nuts! What more do you want out of life?

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Blondie, 6/23/20

Man, what’s your favorite facial expression in today’s Blondie? Is it Dagwood in panel two, stone-cold going nuts that his supplier has found another way to escalate the intensity of his food consumption, to help him keep chasing that ever-elusive high? Or is it the firefighter in panel three, who needs the overtime he’s getting working this job but can’t help but feel that his noble profession is being insulted and degraded?

Hi and Lois, 6/23/20

Congratulations to Hi and Lois, which has managed to find the pettiest gripe possible to base on a daily strip on. Confidential to the rest of the newspaper comics industry: the gauntlet has been thrown down, time to up your game!