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Mary Worth, 8/29/20

If you had asked me where I might expect to encounter the line of dialogue “Pain exists. But so does hope,” I would’ve guessed the end of the first act of a big-budget superhero origin story movie, with an anonymous hooded figure staring down at our protagonist and throwing him a rope after he’d been left for dead in a pit somewhere. Our hero climbs out but the figure is gone, but he’s inspired to enter a years-long rigorous training program to make himself into the perfect fighting machine so he can defend his city from the kind of evil-doers who almost killed him, only to discover at the climax of the film that the mysterious leader of the twisted criminal syndicate he’s been trying to defeat is in fact his long-ago rescuer. “We’re not so different, you and I,” intones the Hood as the two of them battle it out on the city’s rooftops. “I made you so you could make me. A shadow cannot exist without the light.” But, you know, it could be an contented retiree making amiable chitchat with a tween as they sit besides the pool on a sunny Southern California day, that would work too!

Hi and Lois, 8/29/20

Today’s Hi and Lois is brought to you by the good people at the International Dairy Foods Association. In These Unprecedented Times℠, Cheese: Now More Than Ever™.

Pluggers, 8/29/20

Pluggers want more tomatoes. More. More tomatoes. Do you think they’ve had enough tomatoes? They’ll tell you when they’ve had enough. There will never be enough. More tomatoes. Bring more tomatoes to them. More. MORE. M O R E

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Hi and Lois, 8/21/20

Not sure how long the time gap is between these two panels, but I’m guessing it’s not very long, and I’m pretty amused by how quickly Ditto went from “Chip’s walks around the neighborhood are a fun big-kid thing that I want to be a part of!” and “Jesus Christ, these walks are intolerably boring, why does he do this, what’s the point.” Anyway, your brother’s horny, kid, you’ll understand someday.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/21/20

Oh, god, I take it back, I’d welcome sex stuff rather than this, rather than “I think my dead wife would’ve wanted the lady I hired to make a movie about how she died to watch the videos she recorded for her widower and daughter.” “Thank you,” says Marianne, who is way, way too rapturously grateful for this. By the way, have we established whether they’re done filming this movie? I had assumed not, but there have been hints that they are, which would make this all the funnier! She needs to see these videos now, after the role is over, in case they do a … sequel? Oh no, they’re going to do a sequel, aren’t they.

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Family Circus, 8/17/20

As a professional comics curmudgeon, my ethics dictate that I must acknowledge when one of the comics I usually dump on is good, and folks: this Family Circus is a good one. The irony of Jeffy’s t-shirt proclaiming that he’s a happy camper as he experiences a comically overwrought meltdown is great, of course, but my favorite thing is just how chill Dolly is. She’s usually the family snitch and would love nothing more than to narc on Jeffy for throwing a tantrum, but look at her: She’s wearing her shades and her casual camping clothes. She’s on vacation, just like she’s trying to explain to her brother. It’s not the time for this, Jeffy! You’re free! You don’t have to be like your usual dumb self here!

Hi and Lois and Daddy Daze, 8/17/20

Meanwhile, I’ve quite rightly never been left in charge of an infant for any length of time, but these strips both seem to depict … pretty good ways to suffocate your infant? Are these scenes bad for infants, health wise? Sound off in the comments on infant safety around huge piles of clothes or stuffed animals or whatever.