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Luann, 1/15/10

Toni is happy now to leave Shannon with Luann and “Billy the Bookworm,” but will she be prepared to deal with the inevitable PTSD that will result when Shannon actually sees Billy in all his worm-cocked glory?

The Lockhorns, 1/15/10

The Lockhorns are spending the weekend indulging in the one pastime for which they still share an abiding passion: huffing paint thinner.

Blondie, 1/15/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because Dagwood’s dream was crushed!

Ziggy, 1/15/10

Ziggy is racist against squirrels.

(Psst! I’m off on a trip for the long weekend — Sunday and Monday strips will go up Monday evening.)

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Mark Trail, 12/23/10

Mark Trail’s superhuman power of punching is often remarked on in this blog, but what about his other, less violent talents? For instance, I feel strongly that we don’t lavish enough attention on his amazing bellowing ability. In panel two, for instance, we can see that he can achieve extreme levels of bolding and large font size without even opening his mouth.

Meanwhile, in panel three, I fear that Kelly is going to become an cautionary example in an imminent lesson on boating safely, possibly in combination with an abrupt and vicious seagull attack.

Lockhorns, 12/23/10

Loretta has reason to be angry at Leroy’s constant belittling of her cooking, but to be fair to him, it is kind of weird that she’s only brought out one portion of her blood-red chili. Presumably it’s been poisoned, and she’s going to force him to eat it so that she’s finally rid of him; Leroy will acquiesce, out of spite, but not before he gets in a few last punny, dead-eyed witticisms at her expense.

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I know I said I’d be back on Monday, but … but … I can’t keep away from the weekend’s comics! It’s a sickness.

Marvin, 11/27/10 and a panel from the Lockhorns, 11/28/10

For instance, had I skipped the weekend I would have missed the moment when Marvin and the Lockhorns stopped pussyfooting around and just owned up to their respective central premises. Marvin threw in a half-assed (see what I did there? I know I’ll be punished for it) pun to try to keep within the conventions of the comic strip form; that Lockhorns, true to the comic’s uncompromising commitment to authenticity, went someplace much, much darker.

Panel from Dick Tracy, 11/28/10

Meanwhile, only two weeks into my Sunday Dick Tracy reading, I’m already quickly falling in love with the Crimestoppers Notebook. Look at this diminutive balding Cubs fan, brazenly proclaiming to all and sundry that he’s planning on being home alone! Even the mysterious trench-coated bad guy has been reduced to open-mouthed shock at his openness on this subject.

Apartment 3-G, 11/28/10

Over in Apartment 3-G, Paul Linski prepares to bust his move. You can tell he has less than honorable intentions towards our Lu Ann because he uses crass abbreviations like “’cuz”. Ha ha, I can’t wait to learn what depraved sex act he’ll think Lu Ann’s request to “move her piano” represents!