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Mark Trail, 8/9/17

Oh, man, we’ve gotten to the part of the Mark Trail storyline where Mark punches a guy and so you know that’s gonna get top billing on today’s blog post on Josh Reads Dot Com! As we often do on these sacred occasions, let us revisit the greatest sentence on Wikipedia, which can be found on the Mark Trail article: “His assignments inevitably lead him to discover environmental misdeeds, most often solved with a crushing right cross.” Today’s strip is notable because Mark starts with a right, and then, when Baldy McBankrobber neglects to fall over, follows up with a left as well. Bank robbing is a kind of environmental misdeed, right? Whatever, please spend the rest of your day enjoying Mark punching a guy in the mouth twice in two panels.

Dennis the Menace, 8/9/17

Who even knows to what year Dennis the Menace is supposed to be mapping onto exactly, but was there a time when kids Dennis’s age were supposed to sit in the back seat of cars but were not yet confined to specialized child seats? Because he definitely doesn’t looks like he’s a child seat, right? I think the real menace here is that Dennis and Alice have been placed in different rows just so we can see both of their faces easily. Doing things to make things easier for writers at the expense of narrative coherence is a menace against the literary contract with our readers!

Funky Winkerbean, 8/9/17

So I’ve been informed by more comics-savvy people than I that this dude is supposed to be legendary comic book artist Jack Kirby, whose 100th birthday would’ve been this week and who is being punished by an appearance in Funky Winkerbean as a result. Anyway, Jack Kirby’s advice to get a comics job is to have a portfolio of really great work, which seems … correct without actually being helpful?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/9/17

Ha ha, look at the kid’s face! He knows the answer is “no”!

Mary Worth, 8/9/17

God damn it Jared, why does all the stuff you say when you’re trying to be chipper sound like a threat

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/4/17

A couple years ago, Snuffy Smith brought back a beloved (?) character from days of yore, Granny Creeps, an old folk magician crone who lives in a cave. She adds an interesting element into Hootin’ Holler’s cast of characters and opens up possibilites for new kinds of stories and jokes, but thanks to the violent nature of the Holler’s society, those stories and jokes are mostly going to be about the enlistment of her dubious magical powers in the service of various long-running clan feuds.

Mark Trail, 8/4/17

HELL YEAH MAN IT’S A TREE GETTING STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND THEN A HORSE JUMPING OVER A CLIFF

THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS BUT YOU DON’T REALLY NEED IT

IT’S A HORSE

JUMPING

OVER

A CLIFF

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Slylock Fox, 7/31/17

This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with this particular brainteaser, but in the ensuing decade my patience for its many improbabilities has significantly thinned. Back then I was more worried about Slylock having to rassle an octopus to get those car tires; today, I’m just here to LOUDLY SCOFF at the thought that there’s five minutes worth of air in those tires, or that Sly is going to be able to rig up some system for releasing said air into Max’s diving bell. The best move here is for him to tell Max that he’ll be back “in just a little bit” with help, safe in the knowledge that slow suffocation is no doubt among the less painful ways to die. It’ll just be like falling asleep, probably! And there are plenty more mice down at the pet store and mouse-sized shorts-and-hat sets down at the post-animalpocalypse version of the Gap.

Mark Trail, 7/31/17

“I need to do a little check on my gear before I head out!” [pulls out loaded shotgun in small, enclosed space and puts finger on the trigger] “Yep, I sure feel like a big man doing this, so it’s probably working! Better do a few more tests first, though.” [spins around wildly, making sure to point barrel in the face of everyone in the cabin]

Spider-Man, 7/31/17

BREAKING: AREA MAN BELIEVES FEMALE RELATIVE HAS RIGHT TO SEXUAL AUTONOMY AND DESERVES ALL THE DATA SHE NEEDS TO MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS ABOUT HER ROMANTIC LIFE, PROBABLY THINKS THIS MAKES HIM SOME KIND OF BIG HERO