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Mark Trail, 11/29/14

“If only this person with political/economic power could see how beautiful this natural area is, surely they wouldn’t despoil it!” is a common Mark Trail trope, and is obviously completely realistic: why wouldn’t the chief executive of a possibly publicly traded corporation write off a multimillion dollar land investment when they discover that nature is pretty? It’s possible, though, that Mark has something more sinister in mind. Doesn’t his smile in panel two seem a bit cruel? Remember, a couple of weeks ago Mark went swimming and encountered a bull shark … a “monster”, you might say. Mark is going to lure this sinister environment-destroying CEO to a bloody, horrible shark-death, is what I’m trying to get at. He’ll listen to the man’s dying screams, stare grimly down at the gore in the water, then call his masters at the Earth Liberation Front. “The shark ate him!” he’ll say.

Beetle Bailey, 11/29/14

Yes, at last, General Halftrack admits the troops under his control are completely outside the U.S. military command structure! Can we please get his treason trial underway now?

Mary Worth, 11/29/14

HEY SEAN SHE’S THINKIN BOUT YOUR HOT BOD JUST FYI

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/25/14

Oh, say, what’s been going on in Rex Morgan, M.D., Well, Rex has a meeting in a converted Prohibition-era booze stash-warehouse with a art forger in the employ of a mob widow to discuss his five-year-old daughter’s lucrative career, and they’re eating pastrami sandwiches off of silver serving trays, in a scenario that I’m not making up even a little bit. Anyway, I am very much enjoying how our ethically shady art teacher is framing Sarah’s skills. “Look, she’s pretty good at painting, but the key thing is that she’s very competitive. She doesn’t like it when people are better than her. Or speak ill of her, in even the mildest way. Those people will be either defeated or destroyed. Enjoy this life while you can.”

Mark Trail, 11/25/14

Oh ho, you like to read Mark Trail “for the articles,” eh, sinister chemical company owner? Maybe you’ll sing a different tune when you find out Mark has taken his shirt off to talk to you! Seriously, guys, I honestly have no idea how to deal with New Sexy Mark Trail, please send help.

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Mark Trail, 11/18/14

Did Mark almost get eaten by a bull shark last week? Yep! Did I completely ignore it? Sure did! Am I only revisiting today’s strip because Mark and Cherry are again lounging around sexily in sexy bathing suits? Heck yeah! Guess who has several beautiful areas? Mark and Cherry Trail, that’s who! Sure wouldn’t want to do any mining near them and spoil their “natural beauty,” nudge wink. This a Chastely Erotic Mark Trail Fanblog until further notice. (Further notice will come when Mark punches somebody.)

Mary Worth, 11/18/14

Mary Worth, meanwhile, is not so much chastely erotic as frankly erotic. This elderly pair sure aren’t wasting any time! Why bother going out and wasting precious oxygen and Social Security money at some fancy restaurant when you could just go right to Sean’s apartment and have him “make you a mean tuna sandwich,” if you know what I mean? I mean he’s going to make her a tuna sandwich, you perverts. Old people love tuna sandwiches, they’re nutritious and they don’t take much chewing. They’re totally gonna have crazy sex after they eat, though.

Apartment 3-G, 11/18/14

Margo’s free! Free to do whatever she wants, without interference or emotional entanglements of any sort! I certainly hope that one of the many things her assistant Sam has on his plate is the role of pretending to be Margo when talking to Gabriella, presumably by wearing a bun-wig and talking in a falsetto.