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Apartment 3-G, 5/21/10

I’ve kind of disappointed that Margo still hasn’t gotten a handle on communicating effectively with Lu Ann, after all these years of living together. How could you say it any clearer? Well, you’ve got several two-syllable words and even a three-syllable one in there, and that “wouldn’t” introduces a tricky modal. Are you trying to give the poor girl a headache?

Family Circus, 5/21/10

“Or have you thrown yourself on the bed weeping because you’ve sired four hideous children, each dumber than the last? Is that it, daddy? Daddy? Is that why you’re crying?”

Spider-Man, 5/21/10

“But if it’s superhero-on-supervillain combat you want — it may not show under the mask — but I’m dumbfounded with terror, and will probably flee!”

Mark Trail, 5/21/10

HA HA HA RUSTY YOUR TEARS ARE MORE DELICIOUS TO ME THAN THE FINEST FRENCH WINE

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Mark Trail, 5/14/10

Even I’m not so heartless as to crack wise about sassy getting hit by a car yesterday. However, now that we know Sassy is STILL ALIVE and about to be taken to the vet by this overalled hero, I do want to hold up for derision Mark’s increasingly callous dismissals of Rusty’s wholly justifiable fears. Could this storyline finally reveal Mark as the unfeeling monster that he is? “Relax, Rusty, she’s probably trying to dig that old rabbit out of a hole! Or digging her own grave, because she’s going to die soon, alone and in pain! One of the two. Ha ha, this horse has a soft nose!”

B.C., 5/14/10

This might seem hard to understand in the setting of the strip, but remember that this is caveman times, and the tiny band of eight or so human characters we see in the strip are the only representatives of H. sapiens on the planet. Britain hasn’t even been invented yet, so pretty much all you have to do to create it is write “British pub” on a rock.

Luann, 5/14/10

“Come on, you don’t plan a thing like that! You just push down obsessive, intrusive thoughts about it and swear to yourself and everyone else that you’ll never do it, until you finally just let yourself get carried away in the moment and do it without protection with someone you’re not really comfortable with! It’s like you don’t know anything about how sex works, Tiffany!”

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Mother Goose And Grimm, 5/12/10

So here’s what life’s like, if you’re me: you might find yourself spending a good part of an afternoon trying to figure out exactly what’s most objectionable about this cartoon, which manages to conflate one’s awkward and yet terribly exciting teenage sexual fumblings with both lactation and human-animal contact, to absolutely horrifying effect. I’ve finally decided that the worst part is fairly subtle: it’s the cow’s eyelashes. Exaggerated eyelashes like these are often used to signify that an otherwise gender-indeterminate beast or thing in a cartoon is meant to be a lady, and an attractive one at that. One might have thought that the femaleness of the cow was beyond question, what with it being milked and all, but there they are, driving the point home that this is a bovine with frank sexual needs that this farmer is fulfilling.

On the other hand, the farmer’s look of shock and horror is kind of funny. It’s as if this cow had never actually spoken to him before, and he’s just now realizing that their relationship is very, very different from what he had hitherto imagined.

Mark Trail, 5/12/10

You know, it’s all fun and games when Rusty gets trapped under a car, but even though Sassy is irritating, I would really prefer not to see her get run down in the middle of the road just two panels after Mark cheerfully states that letting the little dog run around unleashed and unfenced is totally cool. I’d say that we’re about to learn a valuable lesson about pet ownership, except that Mark is never ever proven to be wrong in this strip, and our last runaway dog storyline has as its moral not “keep your dog inside or behind a fence” but rather “petnappers love surprises,” so I don’t have high hopes here.

Apartment 3-G, 5/12/10

Tomorrow’s narration box: “Tommie immediately regrets demanding an explanation.” Notice that she’s attempting to casually sidle away from her roommates, keeping her facial expression as neutral as possible.