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Mary Worth, 6/4/10

Whoah, this plot is only in its infancy and already it’s going completely off the rails. Mary, refusing believe that anyone might not want to be heteronormally coupled up for all time forever, thrusts an accusing finger directly into Dr. Roberts’s non-loving face. The good doctor, a highly trained psychologist, knows a complete lunatic when he sees one, and has decided that his only hope is to feign insanity himself; he launches into a series of obsessive-compulsive tics, rubbing the back of his head and patting his chest while dancing aimlessly around the room, hoping that Mary will be terrified enough to flee. Ha ha, doctor, it’ll take more than that to shake her off!

Luann, 6/4/10

I’m not ashamed to admit that I find this newfound friendship just a little bit heartwarming, which makes sense because I’ve come to loathe all the main characters in Luann so much that I feel quite affectionate towards the ancillary characters whose main job is to irritate the DeGroots et al. Still, I’m a little unsettled to learn that TJ, who’s supposed to be, what, 23? 24?, considers 15 to be the entry level of his dating range.

And finally, I send you off on your weekend with a full-sized dose of Rusty-horror!

Panel from Mark Trail, 6/4/10

Ha ha, try looking at those freakishly wide eyes and those stubby fingers and not getting the heebie-jeebies!

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Luann, 5/26/10

“Specifically, to the nunnery. I know we’re not Catholic, but take this pamphlet anyway; maybe you’ll decide to switch. Your brother has been resisting my suggestions, so I’m just going to have him kidnapped and forcibly tonsured.”

Gil Thorp, 5/26/10

I take back what I said yesterday; in no circumstances do I want to see any two persons or objects in motion in Gil Thorp attempting to interact, as today’s third panel proves that such an encounter can only end in the complete collapse of all of Euclidean space-time into chaos and madness.

Mark Trail, 5/26/10

So I guess the theme of this storyline is going to be “Sassy will be hit by so many cars”? I’m not particularly pleased with this. Why couldn’t it have been Rusty?

Herb and Jamaal, 5/26/10

Ha ha! Herb hates his marriage and wishes that he and/or his wife were dead!

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Apartment 3-G, 5/21/10

I’ve kind of disappointed that Margo still hasn’t gotten a handle on communicating effectively with Lu Ann, after all these years of living together. How could you say it any clearer? Well, you’ve got several two-syllable words and even a three-syllable one in there, and that “wouldn’t” introduces a tricky modal. Are you trying to give the poor girl a headache?

Family Circus, 5/21/10

“Or have you thrown yourself on the bed weeping because you’ve sired four hideous children, each dumber than the last? Is that it, daddy? Daddy? Is that why you’re crying?”

Spider-Man, 5/21/10

“But if it’s superhero-on-supervillain combat you want — it may not show under the mask — but I’m dumbfounded with terror, and will probably flee!”

Mark Trail, 5/21/10

HA HA HA RUSTY YOUR TEARS ARE MORE DELICIOUS TO ME THAN THE FINEST FRENCH WINE