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Mark Trail, 5/23/20

“Well, of course, Mark, that’s understandable. But we’re not doing another camping trip for a couple of months. Maybe in the fall you might want to–”

“MY DOG, GEOFF. MY DOG ANDY. HE’S VERY BIG. MY CALENDAR IS EXTREMELY FULL, WITH ANDY TIME”

The Lockhorns, 5/23/20

Well, the online discourse that erupted after Martin Scorsese declared that Marvel movies aren’t cinema a few months ago has mostly died down, but Leroy? Leroy is ready to fan the flames again. Watch out, film Twitter!

Mary Worth, 5/23/20

“I can’t really explain it, but when I got to the airport in Santa Royale, the city where I grew up and where I go to college, I really felt like I was home! Probably because I live here, I guess. Oh, also Jared was there to drive me back to the condo or whatever.”

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Mark Trail, 5/20/20

Wow, Geoff really is working his way up Maslow’s hierarchy for Kevin, isn’t he? He’s managed to see to Kevin’s safety needs (preventing him from being burned to death in a forest fire) and physiological needs (getting him with a family who will feed and house him). When will Kevin experience belongingness, esteem, and emotional self-actualization? (Trick question: nobody in Mark Trail has any handle on what an “emotion” is or how to deal with experiencing them, other than punching.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/20

“Hmm, you’re saying I should … care about the opinons of women over the age of 21? That’s seems crazy. I’ve never done it before … but what do I have to lose, at this point?”

Gil Thorp, 5/20/20

“Look, see this sunset, or possibly sunrise? It symbolizes your new day dawning, or maybe the end of your time at Milford, depending on which one it is, but the important thing is that once you submit to your new and totally unfair fate, you’re not my problem anymore, so why don’t you get on that? The sooner the better.”

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Dennis the Menace, 5/9/20

I guess the flavor of mence that’s supposed to be happening here is that Dennis is trying to instigate a fight between his nebbishy dad — who, I feel compelled to point out, is not only wearing a sweater vest but has tucked it into his pants — and this lumbering, pompadoured fellow with fists the size of hams. But the fact that Dennis is talking to the other kid makes it seem like he’s sending a signal, like it’s time to rise up against the Tall Ones who are unfairly suppressing the children. Look how excited the little girl in the car is! She knows! The revolution is here!

Mark Trail, 5/9/20

Oh, uh, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been going in Mark Trail, but it seems that nobody was killed in that terrible forest fire! Remember, “Glad you made it!” is a thing you can say when your coworker drops by the little party you’re throwing at your place, and also when you see some people that you were worried might have burned to death.