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Mark Trail, 2/20/18

Oh, man, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mark Trail, but the short version of the story is that, after showering his giraffe-seeing son and monkey-riding-ostrich-seeing father-in-law with amused contempt and probably not even hearing about the nice campers who got attacked by a rhino, Mark finally saw a tiger with his own eyes and now all of the sudden the situation is very serious indeed and he needs to take charge of it! Based on Mark’s grim facial expression and his determination to stockpile on ammo, look for the tone of the strip to rapidly shift from “zany farce with wacky circus animals” to “gritty Assault on Precinct 13-style seige drama, with wacky circus animals.”

Mary Worth, 2/20/18

This Mary Worth plot about Ted Miller, sex creep, is doing a good job of simulating having professional dealings with an actual sex creep, in the sense that you have to sit through a lot of boring professional talk on edge wondering when the next hug that lingers right up to the edge of plausible deniability is going to abruptly arrive. Until then, though, I guess we should go back to the extremely improbable story of Mary as a muffin maven, a story that starts with her selling a plate of five muffins at Aileen’s Grocery and ends with everyone involved a millionaire! This story obviously requires Ted to wedge himself onto the loveseat with Mary to tell it, so she can feel the power of his narrative.

Pluggers, 2/20/18

A PLUGGER ONLY HUGS SOMETHING

AFTER HE KILLS IT

AND CHOPS IT UP WITH AN AXE

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Funky Winkerbean, 2/18/18

I assume that, like just about any working artist, Mopey Pete has a website with his email address on it. Soooo, the Chiseler … knows that email is private, right? That just because an email uses the infrastructure of the internet to deliver its message doesn’t mean that sending an email is the equivalent of posting it on Twitter or whatever? Does the Chiseler think that “the Internet” is just, like, a guy you whisper things to and he passes them along or makes them public, at his whim?

Hagar the Horrible, 2/18/18

I genuinely appreciate that this strip has graphically illustrated the violence that Hagar’s men have visited upon these local magnates in their insatiable lust for plunder. The dude in the cravat lost an eye. An eye! Look how satisfied Hagar is at having half-blinded him — with an arrow or a knife or maybe his thumb — earlier this week!

Mark Trail, 2/18/18

It’s nice to see that, after decades of living in a rough-hewn forest cabin, Cherry has finally decided to do a little decorating beyond just nailing rugs to the wall at weird angles. On an unrelated note, did you know if you were paid to draw the view from — just as an example — a hotel balcony on Harbour Island in the Bahamas, the amount of money it took you to pay for that hotel, as well as to procure transportation to and from that hotel, would be considered a business expense for tax purposes? Just putting that out there!

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Mark Trail, 2/11/18

Man, I’m going to be thinking for a long time about the phrase “a favorite within the public consciousness.” Aren’t you? The next time you dismiss the latest celebrity flash in the pan, won’t you be tempted to say “Fame is fleeting; what I’m looking for is to become a favorite within the public consciousness, you know?” Anyway, Mark long ago told us that elephants are murderous yam thieves, and now we can’t help but visualize dozens of dead sea turtles, rotting in an algae-choked Salvadoran lagoon, while distraught naturalists pick at their flesh trying to figure out what went wrong. Enjoy!

Dennis the Menace, 2/11/18

Gotta admit, it’s pretty menacing of Dennis to remind his father that, the endless parade of one-off houseguests who bear the burden of his darndest-thing-saying aside, the Mitchells only actually know eight people, and almost half of them are children.