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Marvin, 9/28/11

If there’s one thing Marvin likes, it’s poop jokes. But if there are two things Marvin likes, they’re poop jokes and strips based on a theme where you can do a whole series of them that re-use a lot of the same art. I’m assuming we’ll be treated to several more days of Marvin’s Baby Definitions (ha ha, it’s funny that baby is making up his own definition of words, because he’s sassy, and also because in real life babies’ brains are incapable of abstract verbal thought!), all of which will be accompanied by drawings as nonspecific as this. Yes, that Marvin sure is giving the evil eye to his babysitters, or his parents, or maybe one babysitter and one parent, who the hell knows. Is the person on the left supposed to be a teenager, because they’re wearing baggy pants, because of the rap music? Argh, I’m trying to figure out who a Marvin character is supposed to be, let me stop now before I lose my capacity for joy permanently.

UPDATE: Oh God a “baby sitter” is actually a potty-training device and Marvin’s parents are staring at him while he tries to poop on command in the middle of the living room YUCK YUCK YUCK. Thanks a lot, faithful reader Chareth Cutestory, for pointing out that all Marvin strips are about pooping, even the ones that don’t seem to be about pooping at first.

Ziggy, 9/28/11

Speaking of poop jokes, one of Ziggy’s poops is quoting Star Trek at him! Or maybe a character from Star Trek has beamed into his toilet? Or maybe he’s undergoing some kind of psychotic break. That seems more likely.

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Dennis the Menace, 9/22/11

Mrs. Wilson knows she needs to calm her radical anti-establishment husband down if this encounter is to end without violence. “Now, dear, you and I both know that 911 is a joke, but there’s no need to call him a pig to his face. You’ll just get tasered in the neck again, and I don’t think your heart can take it.”

Judge Parker, 9/22/11

Wow, that’s quite a large amount of cash that Sam and Abbey can just pull out of their bank account on a whim. Do you suppose that all subsequent Judge Parker storylines are going to be more and more transparently about the Spencer-Driver clan’s wealth? Will every strip in April of 2012 just consist of the two of them sitting around counting out hundred-dollar bills, pausing only to occasionally blow their noses into them?

Marvin, 9/22/11

Despite my burning and irrational hatred for Marvin, I have to admit I feel a twinge of sympathy for him in the second panel. Look at his growing sense of panic as he learns that, as his life draws to a close decades from now, even the joys of eating will elude him! Quick, someone tell him something reassuring about old age, like that he’ll finally be able to start wearing diapers again.

Spider-Man, 9/22/11

Yesterday’s post implied that Spider-Man would inspire by sick children by going to the hospital and getting arrested. In fact, he’ll inspire them by going to the hospital and telling them that being a superhero is for suckers and quitting in disgust. We regret the error.

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OK, so here is my excuse as to why I was late with the first few days of this week’s comics, which is that I was in scenic Orlando, Florida. While in America’s #1 Central Florida tourist destination, I stopped by the Universal Islands of Adventure, and while maybe I was mostly interested in Harry-Potter-related activities, I was also keenly aware, thanks to a steady trickle of photos sent to me by faithful readers over the years, that there was a real live Mark Trail diorama to be found. And when I spotted it, it was all I had hoped and dreamed of … and more!

Yes, here we have Mark and Billy Keane interacting, for some reason! And what the pictures I had seen couldn’t convey was the fact that this display has an audio component as well! As I stood nearby and pretended to menace Mark with my feeble fist, his soothing voice was piped in from a speaker above his head, informing us that he works for Woods and Wildlife Magazine and loved nature. For reasons I cannot comprehend, Mark is the only character in the whole Toon Lagoon area who gets to speak! Do you think that any of that makes sense to anyone who visits the park, other than the soap opera strip obsessives who read this blog?

There were other characters on display there, and a weird grab-bag they were. They certainly weren’t the most popular characters, but they also weren’t from any one comics syndicate, which means we can rule out corporate synergy as a basis for the character choices. For instance, there’s this Shoe display! Kids love Shoe, right?

You also have the opportunity to stand directly under Marvin’s no-doubt poop-filled diaper:

And you can get some ice cream, if you aren’t scared off by Cathy’s looming crotch.

In summary, the Toon Lagoon section of the Islands of Adventure is a good place to spend a few minutes of ironic bafflement before moving on to actually fun parts of the park. (Although the Dudley Do-Right log flume ride is pretty great. I had forgot how completely pun-tastic that show was!)