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Some unpleasant surprises

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Marvin, 3/19/21

I assume Marvin creator Tom Armstrong has been drunk with power ever since he successfully fought off a lawsuit filed by a Mercedes dealership who was cruelly lampooned on comics pages across the nation for alleged bad service, but let me say this: the Flintstones, along with all other intellectual property developed by Hanna-Barbera, are currently owned by Warner Bros. Animation, a subsidiary of AT&T, which is a company with substantially deeper pockets and a much stronger urge to dominate than some hapless car dealer.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/19/21

The idea that divorces in Hootin’ Holler are settled via some legal process with attorneys involved, rather than by violent multigenerational clan feuds, has frankly shaken me to my very core.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/19/21

Wait, so Buck is supposed to be … comedy relief? He’s intended to be funny, you say? Huh. Huh.

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[Me blogging, or surfing the web, or working, or doing anything, really] TAP TAP TAP

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/26/21

“Say,” you’re almost certainly wondering, “What’s going on with Rex Morgan’s True Tales Of The Newly Diabetic Lifestyle?” What’s going on is that Mindy made a diabetic-friendly breakfast of delicious frittatas and Buck has declared that he will never, ever deviate from the program again. So everything’s fine! Everyone’s happy and well adjusted! So happy and well adjusted that Mindy completely bites the head off of her stepson for making an extremely mild joke about diabetes. Welp, I guess there’s no underlying emotional issues at play here and we can move on to whatever storyline is next in this strip! Enjoy your healthy frittatas, everyone.

Marvin, 2/26/21

I have zero interest in engaging in the actual content of this strip, but I do want to say that Jeff staring heavy-lidded at his laptop, numb to the world around him, as if hypnotized by the steady tap-tap-tap of his own fingers on the keys, is something that I find distressingly relatable.

Dennis the Menace, 2/26/21

Look how pleased Alice looks! Dennis has finally mastered the concept of metaphors, which means she and Henry can finally talk shit about their friends in front of him without him unknowingly repeating their shit-talk and making social encounters awkward! Unless … he’s known how metaphors work all this time, and is actually just an asshole? More on this story as it develops.

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Love to high-five my new friend when he learns I have other friends

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Gil Thorp, 2/5/21

“Oh hey! What’s going on in Gil Thorp?” is the question that’s on the mind of a number of people that’s probably literally in the single digits, but all of those people read this blog, so I will do my best to keep them in the loop! Well, it turns out that Corina has a beef with Tessi Milton because Tessi never plays defense, and also is a shallow cool popular girl who probably doesn’t even notice that Corina has a beef with her; also, like all shallow cool popular girls everywhere, Tessi is a whiz at social media and such, and by extension has good ideas for raising the girls’ basketball team’s profile, and one of those ideas is getting Vic Doucette and his wacky antics on the PA system for the girls’ team too. But this has set up a dilemma! Should Vic take on the extra duties and impress a pretty girl? Or should he spend more time with his real friends, his “go-tos”, who are so important to him that they haven’t been seen or mentioned in this entire storyline so far? Once we’ve settled this, we can talk about how root bear should not cause severe jaundice, no matter how much of it you drink.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/5/21

So Helga thinks Hamlet needs to learn about … having sex with plants? I don’t want to judge about this foreign culture, but I’m not so sure about this one.

Marvin, 2/5/21

Ha ha, ladies be shopping, amiright fellas? And fellas … fellas be eating! Ladies presumably gain access to the nutrients they need via some other process. Is it shopping, maybe? We have our best fella scientists working on this and will report back when we know more.