Archive: Marvin

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The Lockhorns, 3/20/21

I’ve never really pegged the Lockhorns as a religious pair — the only evidence I can find of them going to church is for a wedding, which Leroy talked shit about. And really, can you blame them for spurning the promises of a spiritual life? Think about how incongruous the thought of them praying before meals to whatever Creator has condemned them to their current existence: locked together forever in a semi-featureless void, never aging, never feeling more warmly towards one another, no way out. Surely their daily moment of silence is spent in fuming, inchoate rage — at their Tormentor above, for once, rather than at one another!

Beetle Bailey, 3/20/21

The little detail I love in this strip is the big smile on the bartender’s face. You’d think he’d be bummed that Sarge’s little joke is going to result in lower sales, tips, and goodwill in the bar tonight, but maybe he’s just a dedicated fan of cruel pranks.

Marvin, 3/20/21

Is … is “nose tissue” a thing people say? Maybe it is in the Marvinverse, where everyone thinks about pooping constantly, and wants to make absolutely sure you know that, for once, they aren’t talking about the other kind of widely used tissue paper (the kind for wiping poop off your butthole). Can you imagine if some of that tissue ended up in the washer! Ha ha! It would be extremely vile, and will also be the subject of next week’s Marvin.

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Marvin, 3/19/21

I assume Marvin creator Tom Armstrong has been drunk with power ever since he successfully fought off a lawsuit filed by a Mercedes dealership who was cruelly lampooned on comics pages across the nation for alleged bad service, but let me say this: the Flintstones, along with all other intellectual property developed by Hanna-Barbera, are currently owned by Warner Bros. Animation, a subsidiary of AT&T, which is a company with substantially deeper pockets and a much stronger urge to dominate than some hapless car dealer.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/19/21

The idea that divorces in Hootin’ Holler are settled via some legal process with attorneys involved, rather than by violent multigenerational clan feuds, has frankly shaken me to my very core.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/19/21

Wait, so Buck is supposed to be … comedy relief? He’s intended to be funny, you say? Huh. Huh.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/26/21

“Say,” you’re almost certainly wondering, “What’s going on with Rex Morgan’s True Tales Of The Newly Diabetic Lifestyle?” What’s going on is that Mindy made a diabetic-friendly breakfast of delicious frittatas and Buck has declared that he will never, ever deviate from the program again. So everything’s fine! Everyone’s happy and well adjusted! So happy and well adjusted that Mindy completely bites the head off of her stepson for making an extremely mild joke about diabetes. Welp, I guess there’s no underlying emotional issues at play here and we can move on to whatever storyline is next in this strip! Enjoy your healthy frittatas, everyone.

Marvin, 2/26/21

I have zero interest in engaging in the actual content of this strip, but I do want to say that Jeff staring heavy-lidded at his laptop, numb to the world around him, as if hypnotized by the steady tap-tap-tap of his own fingers on the keys, is something that I find distressingly relatable.

Dennis the Menace, 2/26/21

Look how pleased Alice looks! Dennis has finally mastered the concept of metaphors, which means she and Henry can finally talk shit about their friends in front of him without him unknowingly repeating their shit-talk and making social encounters awkward! Unless … he’s known how metaphors work all this time, and is actually just an asshole? More on this story as it develops.