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Mary Worth, 4/3/25

The thing about Belle is that frankly nobody is operating on her level, at least not yet, and that makes her extremely dangerous. Look at the asymmetry in thought balloons in that second panel. Dawn is calling her a “phony nut,” which, c’mon Dawn, which is it? Is she a real nut or is she pretending to be a nut? Not very cutting. Meanwhile, every synapse erratically firing in Belle’s brain is just “KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL”

Crankshaft, 4/3/25

Ha ha, it’s funny because Pam herself was profoundly warped when she was young, because of her father’s terrible personality!

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Shoe, 4/2/25

You know, I was going to joke here about how the snuggie’s brief moment as a cultural sensation came and went in 2009, which I regret to inform everyone was literally 16 years ago, and I started squinting at the “2025” in the Perfesser’s word balloon to see if it had been altered from some earlier and more appropriate date, but then, I thought, you know what? Blankets with sleeves are pretty cool, honestly a lot cooler than anything we’ve developed since, technology-wise. Did you know you can get them with a little pocket for your remote control now? Why is that kind of innovation not being applied in the flying car field? It’s truly shameful.

The Phantom, 4/2/25

I do feel bad for Kadia, whose world as a cloistered rich girl was shattered when she learned that her family riches came from supervillainy. Still, you have to admit that “I was afraid to warn Kit … Kadia can lose her grip on reality and become unpredictable” is an extremely funny thing to think about a girl you’re trying to set your brother up with. Anyway, could her psychic trauma from being the daughter of a supervillain be healed by becoming the wife of a superhero? I’m not a “licensed therapist,” but this is a superhero comic, so almost certainly yes.

Mary Worth, 4/2/25

I’ve never really imagined that the Santa Royale culinary scene is vibrant, exactly, but I still find it pretty wild that Wilbur feels so short of options that he would voluntarily return to My Thai, the restaurant that was the site of one of his biggest humiliations, which is really saying something. I guess it’s possible that that he’s only at this moment realizing that accidentally-but-not-really spilling something on someone at dinner when you’re drunk and/or on whatever it is that has Belle’s eyes looking like that seems cool when you’re doing it, but when you’re sober and watching it happen, you realize it’s actually not very cool at all.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/2/25

“Wait, so you had … a job? …in England?”

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/30/25

This is at least the second time that Slylock Fox has proposed the old “one person divides, the other chooses” solution to this kind of dispute, and when the first one was published five years ago I already went on at great length about how I first encountered that idea in T*A*C*K, a sub-Encyclopedia Brown series of distinctly Slylockian “mysteries” for kids. So I guess today I’ll focus on our hapless canine judge. Criminal investigation and prosecution are the flashiest part of the legal system, and the post-human regime has managed to put together semi-functional versions of that, but much of the work of the judiciary involves managing noncriminal disputes between litigants, and we can see that Slylock’s animal civilization has a long way to go in that department. Our boy Sly is using the only tool in his arsenal — ratiocination — and frankly I don’t think it’s really up to the task.

Mary Worth, 3/30/25

“Oh, Belle seems wacky, but kinda fun, ha ha!” is what many of you and frankly I thought when she first appeared. “She definitely won’t start blacking out the eyes of her lover’s daughter in family photos literally minutes after she arrives unannounced at his home, with a sharpie she apparently carries with her specifically for that purpose.” We were fools. Fools! How could we have been so naive?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/30/25

“When is this boring stalker storyline going to get to the medical content that we expect from medically-themed comic strip Rex Morgan, M.D.?” is the question that’s been on the lips of a lot of people who do not regularly read Rex Morgan, M.D., the comic strip that has a lot less medical content than you’d expect. Anyway, does dying count as medical content? Because our stalker — I assume that’s him, based on his Lincolnian profile — seems to have died in mid-stalk, oops. Well, looks like Summer’s problem is solved, anyway! I guess maybe we should bring Rex in to say a few words about how the stalking lifestyle is unhealthy and then move on.