Archive: Mary Worth

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Shoe, 5/2/24

Yeah, man. Giant bird with prehensile hands and opposable thumbs? Wears clothes and plays guitar? Not part of any Earthly biome I’m familiar with. Real fucked up if you ask me.

Dennis the Menace, 5/2/24

“My dad is a ventriloquist dummy” is kind of a stretch as a menacing burn in my opinion, but it at least offers an explanation of why he dresses like that for once.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/2/24

The central joke of Hagar the Horrible is of course that the characters act more or less like modern people even though they live in Viking Age Scandinavia, but every once in a while the strip does a “keepin’ it real” installment where we learn that, for instance, Hagar and Helga’s modest dwelling is infested with vermin.

Mary Worth, 5/2/24

“…being that I’m a foodie of sorts!” [pops yet another featureless brown cuboid in his mouth and swallows it without chewing]

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Pardon My Planet, 5/1/24

I don’t generally have anything nice to say about Pardon My Planet, but I will say this: this lady (I think the Pardon My Planet regulars have names, but I refuse to learn them) has a facial expression that genuinely makes her look like she needs her life changed and she’s contemplating whether a bath towel is the mechanism that could make that happen. She’s tried everything else! Anyway, I hope she finds the right towel set and/or cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals.

Mary Worth, 5/1/24

Wow, if you liked “Wilbur is an absent-minded superhero distracted by ape cuck fantasies,” you’ll love “Wilbur made a Feeld profile and for his profile pic clumsily photoshopped his face onto Zak’s body.”

Six Chix, 5/1/24

Six Chix: Unafraid to tell us tough truths about the differences between the genders! For instance, in order for a man to get sexually aroused by a scaly female, she has to be at least half mammalian woman. But women will just straight-up fuck a full-on fish, they don’t care what you think about it.

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Mary Worth, 4/29/24

Nothing but respect for this old man, who continues to mentally use some truly obscene epithet to refer to Wilbur even while acknowledging he saved his life. He knows Wilbur wasn’t trying! He’s still a @&^$!

Hi and Lois, 4/29/24

The way Hi is gingerly holding just the corner of that tape between his thumb and forefinger tells me that it contains the most vile pornography that you can possibly imagine.

Dennis the Menace, 4/29/24

Dennis, those words both rhyme with “grumpy?????” If your goal was to menace me by sending me into a spiral of extreme bafflement, congrats!