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Archive: Mary Worth

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Grim Saturday

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Hi and Lois, 5/14/22

As readers of this blog well know, I like that Thirsty has in recent years been allowed to once again be the moderately functional alcoholic he was intended to be when this strip launched in the ’50s. Sometimes this is the crux of the joke, but sometimes it just adds to the strip’s flavor. Like, it’s funny that Thirsty is standing next his friend like, “Doing a chore, huh? Couldn’t be me” but it’s funnier that he’s probably had a buzz on since about 10 am.

Mary Worth, 5/14/22

I certainly hope that Helen has slipped her resignation letter under the door of the School Management office and is heading out of Santa Royale forever tonight. How could you ever show your face around town if people knew you held lifelong feelings for Ian? Toby, of course, is far beyond human shame now, but Helen must still have a shred of dignity.

Pluggers, 5/14/22

You’re a plugger if your life isn’t worth living anymore because the only people who still talk to you are the ones coordinating the elaborate series of pharmaceutical interventions necessary to keep you alive.

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Ian should NOT be this eager about ANYTHING

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Shoe, 5/13/22

Sometimes a long running comic strip will dip deeply into its well of accumulated goodwill among its readers and craft a gag that reflects its own internal world-logic, played out by its cast of memorable characters. Other times, however, the gag writer for the day will just put in some joke they saw during a late night binge of Jack Benny YouTube compilation videos. The latter is almost certainly what happened with today’s Shoe, and I regret to inform you that this is the first Shoe to elicit a genuine laugh from me in many years.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/13/22

I mean, think how wrong the “craft a gag that reflects its own internal world-logic, played out by its cast of memorable characters” route can go! You could end up with one of those characters inflicting a perfectly deranged monologue about life’s futility on the other, in the rain, at a funeral! Do you want that? Nobody wants that! No punchline you could steal would possibly be this unpleasant!

Mary Worth, 5/13/22

“Are we doing show and tell? Do you want to ‘show’ me off? Is this a ‘life drawing’ session, and you need an unusually handsome model? Am I finally getting the birthday present I asked for? Ha ha, just kidding. But what if…?”

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I would go more for a “HACHI-MACHI!” myself

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Dick Tracy, 5/10/22

I’ve apparently lived my life either correctly enough or incorrectly enough that I’ve never worked anywhere that’s been subject to a police raid, but if I ever am, I dearly hope that I have the presence of mind to react with a hilarious pratfall and Jerry Lewis-esque sound effect. Anyway, I hope Dick’s cartoonist friend is proud that his Bugs and Worms comic-themed video game is “doing great” among criminals.

Dennis the Menace, 5/10/22

Does Dennis think … the car salesman is drunk? Is that what he’s saying? Whatever it is you’re getting at, it’s only menacing if you say it in front of him, Dennis, this is just confusing.

Mary Worth, 5/10/22

“Wait, what if a thing that’s happening … continues to happen?” Toby asks, suddenly aghast. Boy, you finally get your brain around object permanence and it really raises a whole host of unnerving questions, doesn’t it?