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Would love to get an update where Wilbur gets really into Instagram stories

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Mary Worth, 10/27/21

I hate to ever use the phrase “I would respect Wilbur more” so let’s just say that I would respect Wilbur a very small albeit still measurable amount more if he actually used iMovie or something to create a slideshow of his favorite Estelle pics with “their song” (which, lest you forget, is about a couple in a long-term committed relationship who both plan to cheat and ended up connecting with each other via a personal ad, and this turns them on) as soundtrack for him to watch while he tries to get in touch with his true emotional state. Wilbur is something of a tech whiz, having once tried and failed to get Mary into social media, but I still assume this is just Estelle’s Facebook profile pic expanded to full screen (she hasn’t blocked him yet) and the music is coming from his beloved shower radio, which he’s propped up behind his laptop.

Six Chix, 10/27/21

“Turns out he said ‘trick or treat,’ which obviously makes more sense in context, and now I’ve freaked him out. Why am I like this?”

Hi and Lois, 10/27/21

Hi and Lois is an old-fashioned strip that unashamedly embraces old-fashioned values. That’s why the title characters’ teenage son still refers to their neighbor as “Mister,” even when he’s passed out drunk in their living room.

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Saturday quickies

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Daddy Daze, 10/23/21

Looks like the Daddy Daze daddy died doing what he loved: projecting his weird esoteric internal monologue onto the nonsensical babbling of the Daddy Daze baby. (He died when the Daddy Daze baby murdered him for his own inscrutable and unrelated reasons.)

Funky Winkerbean, 10/23/21

“In fact, I feel like I’m sort of moving past Lisa, and getting a little bored with thinking about her all the time. Specifically her death. Not really getting much mileage out of her death anymore, emotionally. Say, how’s your health? Feeling a little under the weather?”

Mary Worth, 10/23/21

Ha ha, just imagine if Wilbur had been forced to say “I don’t know what made me call you my ex’s name” while he was having s[I am felled by a single sniper’s gunshot to the head before I can finish typing this horrible sentence]

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“@realMarkTrail” was somehow already taken

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Mary Worth, 10/21/21

You ever get a terrifying moment of clarity and insight into a situation that you wish you really knew no details about whatsoever? That was me, reading today’s Mary Worth, realizing that Wilbur is absolutely planning to follow up his first long, languorous tongue-kiss with Carol by shyly saying “See, we do both love ‘Frenchies,’ don’t we?” Just typing this makes me die inside, but I cannot expel this knowledge from my mind! Anyway, I want everyone to note that Carol looks like she’s about to shatter that glass in her hand in panel two.

Mark Trail, 10/21/21

Oh look, it’s our first corporate mastermind villain in nu-look Mark Trail! And he’s wearing a [squints] tuxedo? Lounging around his cliffside mansion/lair? Like you do? Presumably he’s taken off the jacket to better enjoy the cliffside breezes? I do enjoy the fact that his assistant must stay 10 feet away from him at all times, showing him important photos and documents on an iPad with its font size pumped all the way up so he can read it.

Blondie, 10/21/21

Big news, everyone! The team behind the longtime syndicated newspaper strip Blondie has finally learned about QR codes! Tune in here for further developments, like whether or not they ever figure out they’re called “QR codes.”