Archive: Mary Worth

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Blondie, 6/16/24

Even in a recurring narrative, it can be difficult to accommodate the full network of an average person’s social relations into the story, which is why every workplace sitcom that runs for any length of time ends up landing on “all these coworkers actually hang out together constantly outside of work too.” Still, it is kind of odd that we’ve never heard Blondie or Dagwood, who can’t be older than their mid 50s and may be quite a bit younger, ever talk about any of their parents. This implies that they either died young or that they’re estranged, so maybe Dagwood whipping himself into manic glee over the thought that Mr. Dithers serves as an abusive surrogate father figure is an attempt to deflect their conversation from sensitive emotional territory. On the other hand, the fact that Dithers is actually coming over, and the fact that he looks not that different from Dagwood’s father from the Jazz-era strips, hints at an even darker storyline here.

Hi and Lois, 6/16/24

Honestly, mad respect to Hi and Lois for following up on the kids’ decision last month to combine the parent holidays into a single convenient unit. Hi thought they were doing a bit, but they weren’t, and it’s funny because he feels really bad about it!

Mary Worth, 6/16/24

Imagine you got invited to a surprise party, and you’re like, “Oh, is it a surprise birthday party?” and the host says, “No, actually, it’s a surprise fish funeral.” What sort of crowd could you get for that? Well, the answer is “Saul and Eve, who as far as I know haven’t really interacted with Wilbur but are a little pet-mad so they’re game, and Toby and Ian, who probably don’t have a lot else going on.” It does not include Dr. Jeff, who has found the limits to his dignity, and is presumably sullenly waiting in the cabin of his boat, wearing a disguise of some sort in case any of his real friends walk by.

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Judge Parker, 6/14/24

Hey, remember “Declan,” Neddy’s fiance, who in previous appearances on this blog gave the general vibe of “amiable enough” and “amiable enough, possibly a little mid-afternoon wine drunk“? Probably what you’ve been thinking about him is “Well, I don’t really have a sense of Declan, but he seems amiable enough. Certainly his attitude isn’t going to take a sudden, sour turn as he rants about his decade-old family estrangement over multiple days and we don’t even get to see any of the story in a flashback or anything but it’s OK because it’s all business stuff so probably it would mostly be people standing around talking and frowning aggressively, just like this.” Unfortunately for all of us, it turns out that you are incorrect on that score.

Hi and Lois, 6/14/24

I don’t know why it bothers me so much that these two have the exactly same configuration of freckles, but it really does! It makes them look too much alike as they stare into each other’s eyes in panel one. The fact that this annoys me so much more than a pair of teens cheerfully setting the ticking timer on their relationship probably says a lot about me, and none of it good.

Mary Worth, 6/14/24

“Wait, he’s going to talk to it the whole time? No. Absolutely not. I’m out.” –Dr. Jeff, right before he chucks the keys to his boat into the water and stalks up the pier to his car

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Tina’s Groove, 6/13/24

Say, it’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the anxious depressive food service workers over at Tina’s Groove. What are they up to? Ah, well, seems like they’re taking rotting meat home, to eat? Ha ha, that’s, uh, that’s something … funny? I guess? She’s eating rotting meat?

Beetle Bailey, 6/13/24

There’s nothing rotten going on over at Beetle Bailey, that’s for sure! Just delicious pie. It’s hard to top a fresh-baked pie, except when it’s a la mode! In that case, you have to top it, with ice cream, because that’s how it works. Anyway, today’s Beetle Bailey, which features these two guys about to dig into some delicious pie, has been brought to you by an arts grant from the American Pie Council®: For The Love Of Pie!

Mary Worth, 6/13/24

I love that Wilbur has not only announced that he’ll be coming by Mary’s apartment, but has also described how he’ll be alerting her to his presence. Only open the door if you ring the doorbell, Mary! If you hear a knock, just aim your gun at the door at your best approximation of center mass and start firing.