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Archive: Mary Worth

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It came from the deep (erotically)

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Pardon My Planet, 5/1/24

I don’t generally have anything nice to say about Pardon My Planet, but I will say this: this lady (I think the Pardon My Planet regulars have names, but I refuse to learn them) has a facial expression that genuinely makes her look like she needs her life changed and she’s contemplating whether a bath towel is the mechanism that could make that happen. She’s tried everything else! Anyway, I hope she finds the right towel set and/or cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals.

Mary Worth, 5/1/24

Wow, if you liked “Wilbur is an absent-minded superhero distracted by ape cuck fantasies,” you’ll love “Wilbur made a Feeld profile and for his profile pic clumsily photoshopped his face onto Zak’s body.”

Six Chix, 5/1/24

Six Chix: Unafraid to tell us tough truths about the differences between the genders! For instance, in order for a man to get sexually aroused by a scaly female, she has to be at least half mammalian woman. But women will just straight-up fuck a full-on fish, they don’t care what you think about it.

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Monday quickies

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Mary Worth, 4/29/24

Nothing but respect for this old man, who continues to mentally use some truly obscene epithet to refer to Wilbur even while acknowledging he saved his life. He knows Wilbur wasn’t trying! He’s still a @&^$!

Hi and Lois, 4/29/24

The way Hi is gingerly holding just the corner of that tape between his thumb and forefinger tells me that it contains the most vile pornography that you can possibly imagine.

Dennis the Menace, 4/29/24

Dennis, those words both rhyme with “grumpy?????” If your goal was to menace me by sending me into a spiral of extreme bafflement, congrats!

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Mostly thowaways

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Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/28/24

Remember the “30-50 feral hogs” guys? He briefly amused Twitter in 2019 when he demanded to know how he could protect his children from the aforementioned quantity of swine if he didn’t have access to an automatic weapon for personal use, but then we all learned that feral hogs are a real problem and that he might’ve had a point. Today we find out that the bears are learning to use the feral hogs as weapons, which shows that our whole reliance on firearms is obsolete. Only a good guy with a feral hog can stop a bad guy with a feral hog! (The bad guy is a bear in this scenario.)

Panel from Dennis the Menace, 4/28/24

Hey, kids, did you know that the “Diners Club” card was the very first credit card? No, of course not, because you’re not a million years old and Diners Club was long ago outcompeted into a tiny niche by Visa and Mastercard. Today’s Dennis the Menace (the joke is about going out to dinner, don’t worry about it) is the beginning of a great new partnership, which will help educate children and young people about the Diners Club brand! Money well spent, I say.

Mary Worth, 4/28/24

Mostly I wanted to show you today’s Mary Worth throwaway panels so you could see Iris with heart eyes, inflamed with lust by Wilbur’s display of casual violence. But as part of my duty of keeping you up to date on the comics, I must also point out that Wilbur actually saved that old man from a careening car rather than hurling him into its path. Wilbur just keeps winning! I personally am not a fan.