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Mary Worth, 11/14/11

For someone who had a careful list of all her credit card information on hand in case of theft, Mary sure seems shaken by the fact that her credit cards were stolen. In an ideal world the purpose of the list is to make her feel smug and prepared, and perhaps even allow her to assert her superiority over those who don’t have her foresight. She should never have to actually use it, how gauche!

I’d like to believe that Mary’s thought balloon in the second panel heralds some rethinking of her world view, and an understanding that we do not live in an ideal world, that bad things sometimes happen to good people, or even to the best people (i.e., Mary). But probably it just presages her transformation into a brutal masked vigilante who will hunt down criminals wherever they hide, which, I should emphasize, will also be pretty great.

Mark Trail, 11/14/11

Gosh, Kelly, I’m not sure what it is that Mother McQueen might want to melt, in relation to making her gold goose bands? Gold? Does gold melt? Gold does melt, right? Will someone answer Kelly? Someone? I mean, she is talking to someone, right? Otherwise she’s just talking loudly to nobody in particular while in the process of sneaking around at night, which is clearly ridiculous. C’mon, whoever she’s talking to, get her on the right track!

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Mary Worth, 11/11/11

Ha ha, look at how GOBSMACKED Mary Worth is that thieves might run up a shocking three-digit tab on her stolen credit card. “$400 in less than an hour? What ever happened to good-old fashioned thriftiness?”

Apartment 3-G, 11/11/11

“Not at all, Lu Ann! My mother and I think you’re a whore. A whore with great taste, though, I swear!”

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Spider-Man, 11/6/11

Oh, man, this is pretty much my favorite kind of Spider-Man strip: one in which he’s insulted and humiliated in a vaguely sexual fashion. Sure, the whole thing about gaining Jameson’s trust with Spidey-hate makes zero sense, since every interaction between JJJ and Serra we’ve seen involves her defending him; still, if we can see Spider-Man cowering in chains at her high-heeled feet while she calls him a “costumed clown,” I’m a happy guy.

Judge Parker, 11/6/11

Since the Parker-Driver clan has basically unlimited wealth at its disposal, much of the drama of the strip revolves around how they can emotionally navigate their way through a life of obscene abundance. Sam manages through emotional deadness and a refusal to make genuine connections to his fellow human beings, a lesson he’s trying hard to pass on to Sophie before it’s too late. “Sure, I dropped a ludicrous amount of money on this stupid RV, but when I get bored with it, I can always sell it, or, worst case, set it on fire and then collect the insurance money. Do you plan to do the same with Derek? Let me know now if you do, because the lawyers we’d need for that are spendy, and I might have to move some money around to make that happen.”

Panel from Mary Worth, 11/6/11

Desperate to show that she still has some street cred after years as Ian’s trophy wife, Toby goes for the most awkward and ill-timed fist-bump in history as the waiter looks on in horror. “Yes, Mary, it’s time to get in touch with local law enforcement agencies! Come on, give me some daps.”