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Mary Worth, 4/23/11

Uh oh, it looks like Liza’s plan to seduce Dr. Drew, which was going so very well, has hit a snag. Dr. Drew is a sexy doctor, very much in demand for the ladies, and his attitude appears to be that he does not have to put up with people who pass off quotes from 15-year-old movies as their own woo-pitching. Either that or he suspects that Liza might actually be Tom Cruise, wearing a very clever disguise. Anyway, I hope the two of them work this out quickly, as they’re standing in the middle of the street and are liable to be hit by a car.

Hi and Lois, 4/23/11

Aww, it’s nice that Trixie is finally learning about full-throated marital hatred! Her parents are far too passive-aggressive in their attempts to emotionally destroy one another for someone her age to really get it.

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Gil Thorp, 4/20/11

“Ease up” has pretty much been my all-time favorite two-word combination in Gil Thorp ever since it served as a prelude to Coach Kaz bending time and space with his hairy, hairy fists. I’m frankly hoping that this board meeting ends in fisticuffs, as that’s about the only interesting follow-up there can be to phrases like “deficit task force,” “budget subcommitee [sic],” and “Hobart.”

Mary Worth, 4/20/11

Ha ha, Mary can’t even remember Dawn’s name. “You remember, he was fornicating with that nice Vera, and what’s-her-name, the underage girl who can’t get enough of the computer whosits. Whatever. Who do you think he’ll seduce and betray next?”

Family Circus, 4/20/11

That’s a nice big basket, Billy! In the spirit of the season, seeing as you’re the firstborn son and all, we’re going to use it as a boat, and put you inside it and float you down the River Nile. Maybe you’ll be adopted by a beautiful Egyptian princess! Only by “River Nile” we mean “the sewage culvert” and by “beautiful princess” we mean “one of those hobos who live in the tent city down by the sewage culvert.”

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Gil Thorp, 4/16/11

“Besides the heater? Are you talking about the pitch in panel one that violates the rules of space and time, passing right through the batter’s body without harming him? Becuase I think that’s pretty much enough, don’t you?”

Mary Worth, 4/16/11

“And what I want right now is cocaine, for my tiny, tiny spoon! Don’t happen to know where we can get some, do you, Doc?”

Apartment 3-G, 4/16/11

“This is amazing, Dan! You have a whole recording studio, right here, in your recording studio!”