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Mary Worth, 4/13/11

Speaking of sparks, the ones that were going off between Dr. Drew and Liza have pretty much burned out, if the way she’s staring at the bottom of her glass in panel one and her slack, heavy-lidded expression in panel two are any indication. Drew, we established hours ago that Liza thinks that both medicine and caring about her job are for chumps, so let’s can the “Oooh, being a doctor is so rewarding” blah blah, shall we?

Beetle Bailey, 4/13/11

Not going to lie to you: after seeing Otto wearing his uniform (or the underclothes he wears beneath his uniform) all the time, this strip kind of shocked me, since it read as full-on nudity.

Pluggers, 4/13/11

Sometimes pluggers have to rent out their work vehicle to school bus fetishists for orgies, just to make ends meet.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/8/11

Rex Morgan plotlines are actually pretty varied, but in many of them there comes a point when the wacky ancillary characters get in over their head and the Morgans have to bail them out. Inevitably, Rex uses this occasion to act like a put-upon dick. Panel three today, with Rex’s best “oh Lord, the humans and their problems, why can’t I just be left alone to read my newspaper in absolute silence” expression yet, should as far as I’m concerned be hanging up in every art museum in the world.

Mary Worth, 4/8/11

“That little girl with bone cancer who needs her pain meds in Room 287? Fuck her! I’m living in the moment.”

Momma, 4/8/11

The title character in Momma is a cruel, passive-aggressive narcissist, whose parenting style is so monstrous that there’s absolutely no question as to why the her children are so dysfunctional. But the strip has one saving grace, which is that it’s always clear that she’s very, very depressed.

Jumble, 4/8/11

Silly math teacher! You have to go to work every day to try and fail to inspire a group of sullen, hateful teenagers with your love of the beauty and wonder of mathematics. No amount of coffee will make your soul whole!

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 4/8/11

“So if you’re drunk, I’m thinking we could have a pretty good time.”

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Dick Tracy, 4/5/11

Fans of the last few years of Dick Tracy have one important question now that the strip is under new artistic management: will each storyline end with the villain being killed in a unnecessarily gruesome fashion? We’re still at the very beginning of this story, so we can’t say for sure, but surely it’s a good sign that “Pouch” here got his name by having some kind of “pouch” lurking in the his repulsively slack neck-flesh. It has a snap, this skin-pouch! So delightfully gross!

Apartment 3-G, 4/5/11

Margo starts this strip with such a great quip that it’s sad how quickly she devolves into the state in which we find her in panel two. A quizzical, confused facial expression, an ill-fitting yellow sweatshirt (does she think it shows off her bosom to her advantage? because it does not), and a lurching attempt to escape from a sudden foliage attack — not her best moment. Still, “that bushy-haired, bearded guy who’s always winning Grammys,” ha!

Mary Worth, 4/5/11

Have you ever wanted to see two medical professionals psych themselves up to a sordid quickie in a hospital linen closet by quoting No Fear marketing copy to one another? Then today’s Mary Worth is for you, my friend.