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Hey, it’s the Comics Curmudgeon Spring Fundraiser — thanks for your generous support!

The comics celebrate Carnivale with a tedious procession of same-old same-old — so let’s dig in!

9 Chickweed Lane, 3/8/11

9 Chickweed Lane tries to balance weeks of yak yak gayification of Uncle Roger with weeks of dance dance straightification of Seth. It doesn’t work, but at least nobody’s talking.

Ziggy, 3/8/11

Everyone in Ziggy enjoys his suffering as much as the universe does.

Mary Worth, 3/8/11

Warning: Frolic ahead! Escape, Dawn — only TV Tropes can save you now!

Crankshaft, 3/8/11

See? Nothing really changes except your car is cheesier, your mood surlier, the weather’s worse, you can’t afford as many flowers, and your beloved is long dead. Happy Lent, everybody!

Stave off the gloom with a generous donation to the Comics Curmudgeon! Just click here if you’d prefer to send your contribution by mail. Thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/6/11

America’s most isolated rural enclave falls at last to the scourge of mef. Soon Jughaid will be raising ‘Tater alone as Snuffy puts up the still for bail and Loweezy gives her sweet love to the Law. At least Hootin’ Holler is safe from mef mouf, due to its residents’ lack of teef.

Mary Worth, 3/6/11

Um, Dawn — if you want to sleep, how about turning your big incesty asphyxiation-play poster around to face the wall? I know I won’t be getting much sleep until you do.

Crankshaft, 3/6/11

To everyone who thinks Ed Crankshaft is a born asshole, he replies: “Assholes are made, not born! Watch me make one out of my son-in-law Jeff, here!”

And in a sign that the idea well at Crankshaft HQ is going dry, the creative process for today’s strip began, “Say, we haven’t done anything with Pam in a long time — there must be something we can do with Pam!”

Judge Parker, 3/6/11

Oh, poo. No murder, no impersonation — just an ambitious intern, “I know I’ve got what it takes”, tedious exposition (“other boss” WTF?), and blah blah blah. How is this different than Sophie’s cheerleader tryouts, exactly? Oh yeah — no audience or professional judging this time around. But hey — Alan’s enjoying the hell out of his Smug Chow, there.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Mark Trail, 3/5/11

Like classic James Bond films, each recent Mark Trail episode one-ups its predecessor with a more exotic location, nastier villain, and hotter babe. Lost Forest, deer-kickin’ Frank Johnson, and Cherry gave way to glamorous Sea Breeze Fishing Camp, stylishly sinister Ben Smith, and sultry Kelly Welly, only to be topped by the azure vistas of Balmy Palmy Isle, our mysterious — yet somehow fabulous — paranoid druglord, and Ms. Hotsie Highwaist here.

Where will it end, this relentless upward spiral of scenery, villainy, and babery? I suspect on the Moon, with Mark savagely beating Kim Jong-Il while remaining strangely indifferent to the charms of Olivia Wilde or somebody. Because Mark can best any villain anywhere, but he shrinks from female contact, as shown in panel two.

Mary Worth, 3/5/11

Driven mad by the Internet, Dawn Weston seeks comfort from her only true friend — that pregnant lady from her Dad’s eating-disorders support group who moved to Charterstone after her retirement and divorce last October. Aaack!

Marmaduke, 3/5/11

From the look of the leftovers, Marmaduke has eaten several sports teams, Mary Poppins, a NASCAR pit crew, neighbor Snyder, and the cop sent to investigate.

Spider-Man, 3/5/11

Yes, vampirism — the only possible explanation! Because seriously — it’s 4:45, and why else would Peter miss The View?

See how quickly Mary Jane rejects the obvious “My husband is a worthless layabout!” in favor of the dramatic “My husband has been overcome by the forces of darkness!” Acting has really honed her denial skills.

Hi! I’m sitting in this week while Josh is on vacation. If you have any site or comment trouble, contact me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net. Email sent to bio@jfruh.com will still get to Josh, but he won’t read it, because, you know, vacation.

— Uncle Lumpy