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Mary Worth, 8/17/10

Mary Worth has definitely been missing a certain something lately, and that something is frolicking. Earlier this year we got a few delightful days of Wilbur and his not-son frolicking in the woods; today, we are treated to a flashback of Dr. Mike’s dad and his cousin Richie proving that one can frolic in urban settings as well. As we all know, the best way to show that you’re having a good time is by means of ludicrously exaggerated gesticulation. Unfortunately, the thug driving that car will see them waving their hands and arms about, mistake the gestures for gang signs, and spray them with bullets. Watching Richie bleed to death in front of him will send Lonnie into the emotional tailspin that ended with the shattered man we saw lurching out of the bushes last week.

I notice that Richie is wearing the Han Solo-style outfit so beloved by characters in Apartment 3-G. I wonder if this is a message of solidarity from Mary Worth artist Joe Giella to A3G artist and fellow eightysomething comic book artist turned soap strip toiler Frank Bolle during the fashion escalation that is the makeover storyline. “Stay strong!” the vest is saying, symbolically. “Vests are cool, and people do wear them in real life. Margo will wear that vest again, some day!”

Luann, 8/17/10

Normally Mrs. DeGroot is on high alert to protect her children’s chastity, but the fact that Luann and Quill are sequestering themselves in Brad’s old room puts her mind at ease. On assumes that the pall of apathy and self-loathing that Brad left behind him still hangs thick in the air. It’s where erotic urges go to die.

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Apartment 3-G, 8/12/10

Well, it looks like I Dressed In The Dark has a little-known sister show, called I Allowed My Hair To Grow In Its Natural Color In The Dark, And Also During When It Was Light Out. I’m not sure where this little scene is supposed to be playing out — I suppose it’s on the IDITD set, and the Monocolored Creepy Staring Background Guy, of the sort well known in this strip, is one of the grips or something. Still, it’s weird that the cameras aren’t rolling, as this sort of moment — Kat’s eyebrow arched cruelly, Lu Ann goggle-eyed with terror — is pretty much what reality TV is for.

Mary Worth, 8/12/10

Oh, look, Mike’s dad exists after all! I was beginning to suspect that perhaps he had died years ago, and Fred was keeping his mouldering corpse in his bedroom and cashing his Social Security checks. Actually, based on today’s strip, that might still be the case: the expressionless face, the shuffling walk, the tattered, colorless clothes, and Mike’s expression of sheer terror all point to Lonnie here actually being a zombie reanimated through dark magic.

Blondie, 8/12/10

The weirdest thing about Alexander’s outfit is that, with its bow tie and giant buttons, it’s sort of a less dignified version of Dagwood’s usual work outfit. But, as this strip demonstrates, dignity has never been particularly high on Dagwood’s priority list.

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Mark Trail, 8/5/10

So yesterday’s Mark Trail — which I couldn’t even bring myself to comment on — featured an unleashed Sassy again lunging in the direction of vehicular death, proving that the dog finds suicide preferable to life with his hideous boy-master. However, they’ve been brought up short by the presence of a chain-link fence in the middle of the woods. I’m no outdoorsman, but that’s really not the sort of fence I imagine for a cattle farms. I think that Rusty and Sassy have been lured into a vast enclosure — a hidden gate slid silently shut behind them after they passed through it — where hidden cameras lurk everywhere. In a nearby mansion, a very exclusive group of gentlemen place bets on battles between little boys and freakish tree-dwelling woodchuck-like things. Will Sassy turn on Rusty once the woodchuck-thing knocks him to the ground?

Jumble, 8/5/10

Whoah, so yesterday, after I joked about back-alley dice games in the Jumble, the feature’s cartoonist promised that it was the “first jewel in the Jumble Triple Crown.” The action today has moved to a strip club, where we see a bored, exhausted dancer twirling sullenly for a sparse mid-afternoon crowd. One can only imagine what tomorrow might bring! Perhaps a junkie shown carefully injecting between his toes, with the clue “Why was Bob so careful not leave track marks?” (Answer: He was too “[V][E][I][N]”)

Mary Worth, 8/5/10

Mike, I’m sure you’re a meticulous planner and all, but if you’re planning on sucker-punching your dad, you shouldn’t get your fist all clenched up and ready to go before he even arrives. Likely the reason he always stands you up is he can see you standing there like that, ready for action, from across the park.