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Family Circus, 10/24/08

So, the constant mental and emotional abuse of Jeffy has been a long-standing theme of this strip, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that his physical abuse is starting to come to the fore. Attempts to shut him up by doping him up — “Mommy says that if I take all these pills, I won’t feel anything anymore!” — are doomed to failure, as nothing can stop Jeffy’s relentlessly adorable malapropisms. This thing’s only going to get uglier, with either Ma and Pa Keane dragged off to jail, or Jeffy burning the house down, then blaming his vengeance on “Ida Know”.

Mary Worth, 10/24/08

Having been browbeaten by Mary into not visiting his beloved son Drew in Vietnam (where, I might add, Drew is doing the charity work that his father wants to be doing), Dr. Jeff is trying to salvage some pretense of autonomy by blaming his homebody ways on his bad knees, which I’m reasonably sure have never once been mentioned in this strip to this point (though there is a cane floating aimlessly next to him in panel one). Mary then mocks him by claiming that going through airport security is just sooooo irritating; it’s almost as bad as having pretend knee arthritis! The truth is that kindly old lady Mary always breezes through the security lines, with the TSA none the wiser about all the heroin she keeps tucked into the waistband of her support hose.

Apartment 3-G, 10/24/08

Noooo Margo, you’re beginning to feel empathy for another human being! Admittedly, it’s a dead human being, but that’s how it starts. You need to gulp down some of that ink-black soul-destroying devil’s milk, before it’s too late!

Shoe, 10/24/08

This is today’s Shoe. It’s about urinating on things!

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Apartment 3-G, 10/21/08

It looks like Apartment 3-G, having made drug abuse and murder bland and vaguely boring, is about to do the same for China’s meddling in Tibetan monastic politics. Remember how Eric was supposed to be rescuing his brother from some combination Tibetan temple/hospital/Chinese prison thingy in Lhasa, or something? Apparently he took this Lodi character instead, which we may or may not have been told at the time? Lodi, I am assuming, is a stand-in for Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, who was chosen as Panchen Lama as a child with the Dalai Lama’s blessing; he and his family were taken out of Tibet by the Chinese government and haven’t been seen since, while the government has nominated its own candidate for the post. Gedhun/Lodi seems to be none the worse for wear for his time as a political prisoner, having learned valuable English and hiking skills. The question is, can he retain his sense of detachment from desire and suffering upon encountering the ultimate threat to any holy man: Margo Magee?

Family Circus, 10/21/08

It’s obviously unsettling that the Keanes have some kind of gargantuan microwave that can heat up an entire full-sized pizza, though that may explain why Billy thinks that nuking food qualifies as “making” it. Poor Jeffy is once again stuck with the being-baffled-by-everyday-slang role usually reserved for comical foreigners, robots and aliens, and dorky white dudes. But what really gets me about this cartoon is the drooping tip of Billy’s pizza. I imagine that he’s gesticulating with the slice, the tip flopping up and down as he does so, grease splattering everywhere. I think that it would be pretty hypnotic to watch; no doubt that’s what Mommy is focusing on, which is why she looks so beatific despite being surrounded by morons.

Luann, 10/21/08

“I mean, Toni never talks about him, but he hangs around in my mind … brawny … vaguely threatening … half-dressed…”

Mary Worth, 10/21/08

Oh, Dr. Jeff, always so bad at strategy. If you’re going to try to escape Mary’s clutches, you don’t announce it. You just leave town the minute she walks out the door. You can set her condo on fire on your way out if it would make you feel better.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/21/08

Ha ha, Rex is grinding something! Get it, because … ha ha … grinding … oh, what’s the use.

Based on Sarah’s weird, distorted face in the final panel, I’m guessing the wind is so strong and the boats are tilting because they’ve accidentally wandered into a nuclear weapons test site. Soon everyone will be killed in a ball of flame, which will at least alleviate the boredom of watching a sailboat race.

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This week’s fine comments of the week in a moment, but first, I have something very special to share with you all, courtesy of faithful reader mon-ma-tron, who designed the Aldomania logo and is part of the braintrust behind Raised by Squirrels. She writes:

The husband and I were at FallCon last weekend, in conjunction with visiting some old friends in St. Paul. There was a gallery section at the show, “Celebrating 60 Wonderful Years” of Wonder Woman. Lots of pinup illustrations from famous and not-so-famous comic book artists.

Including one by Joe Giella. His was one of the few in color (most were black and white), and the ONLY ONE not actually OF WONDER WOMAN.

For those of you who don’t know, Joe Giella, who is 80, had a long career as a comic book artist and inker before taking over the duties of drawing Mary Worth. It’s a not uncommon career trajectory, and when I contemplate an artist in his position, I often wonder to myself, “Is his heart really in it?” Well, mon-ma-tron has offered hard evidence that Joe Giella’s heart is very much in it.

So! Let’s move on, as if the world can ever be the same again after seeing that, and enjoy the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“He’s always taking things he’s not supposed to. Like clumps of my hair.” –Joe Blevins

And the runners up! Quite a collection, this week…

“Why is Brad so pissed off? His doughy body is all oiled up like he just rescued a box of terminally ill kittens from a flaming bathhouse on the Lower East Side and he’s holding an ax!” –AeroSquid

“So far the photo shoot in Luann is a little more reserved than I had hoped it would be … Brad’s just grumpy and shirtless. Still, it’s only Monday; hope springs eternal. Maybe by Friday he’ll be naked and really pissed off. Just the way I likes ’em.” –Bribaby

“This whole ragging on an museum exhibition of clocks for two days is just strange. Is Peter Parker some sort of art history purist who objects to the inclusion of decorative arts in museums? He’s probably more disappointed they don’t have an exhibition of televisions.” –steve

“It’s useless to lock Marmaduke out of the house. He’ll just phone for a lock service. Or maybe use the library computers to send for one via the Internet. He’s just that goddamn wacky.” –Muffaroo

“I believe Lu Ann, Tommie, and Ruby are still in the studio. A catfight of epic proportions cannot be far behind. Ruby is going to drop Haley like third-period French.” –boojum

“Pluggers do not move through life. Life does not move through pluggers. Pluggers sit, inert, while confusing and frightening and often nature-violating events occur around their sad man-animal hulks.” –Cranky

“So how did Genesis Corp. hurt Brace’s feelings? ‘We have reviewed your application for Director of Mad Scientists. Although your skills are impressive, we have no available positions for a person of your qualifications because Genesis is a rock band. We wish you success in your continued journey. Sincerely, Phil Collins.'” –Hogenmogen

“The storyline I really want to see now is Alan and Albert Pinkham Ryder ectoplasmically slugging it out over who gets to haunt the studio, before they settle into an after-life Odd Couple arrangement with hijinks.” –lesles

“So the guy has a thing for CLOCKS? Could any affectation be more boring? I say the villain o’ the month here should at least have a name we can have fun with, the snickerability quotient being inversely proportional to the lameness of the villain, a la The Shocker. How bout the Clocksucker? Too subtle?” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz

“Thank heavens that Ian is home. With Mary, all Toby could do was whine on the bench. Now, she has a bosom to cry on. A heaving bosom. A hairy, heaving bosom of arrogance and moral superiority. Scented with Chicago.” –Dingo

“You’re a plugger if you have made no effort whatsoever to keep pace with societal trends and norms, to the extent that you are befuddled and upset by what everyone else correctly regards as the reality of modern life. Oh look, I seem to have inadvertently written a caption for every Pluggers ever.” –Muddtallica

“Comparing Blondie to 1984 is especially apt, as that’s actually the last year a new Blondie strip was written.” –Lithros

“I don’t buy it. ‘I still respect you,’ I mean. Like Ian, or anyone, has ever respected Toby.” –Mac

“Listen up, Herb and Jamaal, if I wanted to see an expressionless round-headed character stare at the reader while thought-ballooning a lame joke awkwardly stretched over two panels with an ellipsis, I already have Garfield.” –Xenocrypt

“Oh brother lady, you don’t know. Sam Driver will keep his shirt on all right. You’d better believe it!” –Saluki

“The good news: A moronic storyline in MW ends! The bad news: A moronic storyline in MW begins.” –Mibbitmaker

“The past few weeks of Judge Parker have been like watching the main character from a 1950s industrial film (‘Vests Are For Everyone’ or ‘The Wonderful World Of Contract Negotiation’ or ‘Understanding Small Dogs’ or whatever) inexplicably starring in a Cinemax After Dark erotic thriller. Nearly every panel is fraught with potential for sexy adventure, but stolid old Sam just sits there in the living room between the hot detective in leather pants and the bikini-clad exotic dancer, wondering what all the fuss is about.” –Trilobite

“Despite the destruction of his jacket, shirt, and quite likely most of the muscle and skin on his forearm, it’s the loss of a perfectly good mustard stain that most upsets Dagwood.” –late2theparty

“So I guess Lisa’s Legacy is that she married a dumbass who waves around a box full of money and then leaves it unattended. My guess is that Funky stole the money as he is planning to use it to buy Les’ teenage daughter.” –Digger

“I can only assume that Maria’s dead, half-eaten lobster will manage to outwit Spider Man before this story arc is complete.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“Dr. Jeff is back ! Yay! I can’t wait to see what humiliating position he will be put in this time. I can’t wait to root for him once again to get some balls and stand up for himself, only to be crushed under Mary’s iron, calcium-deficient fist; walk away defiantly, with his arms crossed, standing up to ‘the biddy,’ only to come crawling back, begging, on his knees, like a dog. It’s going to be so wacky!” –Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)

Huge thanks once again to everyone who’s put money in my tip jar! I’ve gotten my thank yous out to everyone who gave during the fundraiser … but some of your addresses bounced back! So if you haven’t heard back from me, that’s why!

Oh, and our advertisers must also get some thank-yous:

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