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Lio, 3/25/07

OK, despite the fact that Mark Tatulli has made a few comments on my site, I’ve managed to not cover his relatively new strip Lio here, mostly because it’s good. Still, how could I not share this with those of you who haven’t seen it? (Though based on the number of you who’ve emailed to me, I’m guessing that number is pretty low.) While there’s a long tradition of comics artists good-naturedly snarking on each other in their features (see today’s Pearls Before Swine for another installment in the long-running mock feud between Stephan Pastis and Get Fuzzy’s Darby Conley), I do have to wonder if this will be seen within the profession as crossing some kind of line. Watch yourself if you’re ever in Canada, Mark, is what I’m saying.

Mark Trail, 3/25/07

I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m pretty sure that Mark Trail is a tool of the anti-Christ. Two years ago, the Christmas installment consigned baby Jesus to the throwaway panels and focused most of its energy on that thinly veiled pagan nature spirit, Santa Claus. Now, this ostensibly Easter-inspired strip contains exactly zero crucified saviors, but makes the shocking claims that rabbits are the most beloved symbol of the holiday and that they are messengers of some higher power. Also, it keeps bringing up the Germans, so I think Mark is probably a Nazi as well.

Mary Worth, 3/25/07

What in the good lord’s name is Mary doing to Vera’s hand in the last panel? It’s like she’s realized that Vera is so eager to move into Charterstone that she can get away with all sorts of abuse of the sublettor-manager’s code of ethics. “Yes, Vera, all new Charterstone tenants get a complimentary two-hour knuckle massage! Now, hold still.”

Dennis the Menace, 3/25/07

Mom’s been smiling all day about going to a party that involves “bowls.” I see a heartbreaking Reefer Madness-style future series in which Dennis and his dad must break Mrs. Mitchell from her insatiable appetite for marijuana.

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Gil Thorp, 3/20/07

Some days, when I’m having a busy day, like I did today (I’m guest-blogging at Wonkette all week, by the way, and trying to get Mary Worth restored to the Washington Post in the process), I see dozens of comments come in about a particular strip before I see the strip itself. Sometimes all the build-up is more than a strip can bear, but panel two of today’s Gil Thorp was all I had been led to hope for and more. The sight of Tyler beating himself in the back of the head in some suburban alley — with the baffling motion lines turning the scene into an Escher-esque impossibility, and with the tiny moon floating behind him, making it look like he’s dislodged one of his own eyeballs — well, it’s pretty much the best thing I’ve seen today. I’d like to think that we’re seeing smack number four here.

Mary Worth, 3/20/07

Mary Worth was of course almost as entertaining, with her creepy finger-touching. It’s like she’s measuring Vera to make sure she’ll fit in the apartment. Or, actually, it’s like she’s Judy Davis in a straight-to-Showtime movie called “Suburban Madame,” and she’s checking out the new meat to arrive at her peaceful condo complex/brothel.

Apartment 3-G, 3/20/07

This is why Tommie and Margo need Lu Ann back so badly: it’s her well-meaning idiocy that holds the trio together. Never has the contrast between the two been so apparent as in the last panel: Margo, very, very high, vibrating like a tuning fork and popping out nonsensical questions because she can scarcely be bothered to focus enough to have an actual conversation, and Tommie, collapsing inward into her mopey core, looking like she’d be glad to slit her wrists if the prospect of failing even to do that right wasn’t so embarrassing.

Pluggers, 3/20/07

The plugger’s number two rule: Oh, just buy the semi-rotted fruit. You don’t deserve any better.

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Doodles by Mac & Sack, 3/18/07

Ah, there’s lots of good artistic hate to be had in today’s Doodles. Our koala hero is usually the victim in this feature, getting haplessly devoured by various beasts, but today in my opinion our simian artiste has every right to be outraged by his marsupial rival’s blatant act of visual plagiarism. This is what comes of kids’ constant exposure to Slylock Fox’s Six Differences puzzles: they think, oh, we just need to change six things about a picture and it’s totally different! Well, it isn’t, and I think we’re about to see some monkey poo flung righteously to make that point.

Fun bits from the bottom: A painter assaults his own work in some kind of absinth rage; the charmingly named “Toby da Vinci” stares dully out at us, proudly showing off his headless creation; and a classic anti-Semitic football joke is reworked for general consumption.

Apartment 3-G, 3/18/07

OK, for a while I was willing to believe that Gina was just unnaturally self-absorbed and clueless, but it’s pretty obvious now that she’s decided to just torment Tommie relentlessly for some reason. Does any normal English speaker ever just switch pronoun referents in mid-thought? No, unless they’re trying to screw with your head. The only question is: why would anyone want to persecute poor Tommie Thompson? Isn’t her life pitiful enough as it is?

I note that, like most underemployed actors, Gina is slumming in the caffeine-delivery service industry. I’m guessing she manages to insult her customers on a routine basis. Fortunately, she’s probably too dumb to notice how bad her tips are.

Mary Worth, 3/18/07

“Curses upon you, Von”?

“Curses upon you, Von”?

Wow. Just … wow. I’m not even sure how to follow that up. Vera Shields looks like she has a lot of internalized anger. We all know of, course, that anyone who comes into Charterstone experiencing normal human emotions must be dealt with, and harshly. So, the question is: is Vera going to be the kind of Mary Worth peripheral character that Mary needs to help … or the kind that Mary needs to kill?

With its decaying plaster, crooked pictures, and bed that was blatantly scavenged from a dumpster behind a hospital, Vera’s apartment looks way too downscale for an up-and-coming ad exec. It’s barely a step up from the downtown women’s shelter! My theory: “Von” is actually Houston Texans defensive back Von Hutchins, who blew a tackle that allowed the winning touchdown in a game that Vera had 50 large riding on; thus, this filthy tenement room is all she can afford after she makes her monthly usurious payment to her bookie.

Dennis the Menace, 3/18/07

Today, Dennis proves himself less menacing than Margaret. And Margaret’s grandmother.