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Pluggers, 8/3/06

Sooo … Grandma’s a Plugger, daughter-in-law isn’t? Oooh, mixed marriage: edgy. Daughter-in-law is wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, so she’s clearly some sort of ball-breaking feminist lesbian professional woman. I see a kidnapping/multi-state chase in the near future, followed by a circus trial in which the “a working mother is by definition a child abuser” argument serves as the main defense.

Mary Worth, 8/3/06

Of course, they had to clean it up for the funny pages. I have it on pretty good authority that this is what Mary actually said:

“Is this some sort of motherfucking joke? Huh? Does it look like I’m motherfucking laughing to you, motherfucker? Get your punk-ass hands away from me!”

And then it just sort of goes on like that for a while.

Even without the cussing, I think I can say with some confidence that there’s only one other person in the last two years who’s made Mary this mad:

That’s right: Aldo Kelrast is now officially as awesome a Mary Worth character as Rita Begler. After a lull of some months, this strip is back on top of its ridonculous game.

Gil Thorp, 8/3/06

“That’s right, on my legs! My long, smooth, totally unscarred legs! So you see, we’re really a lot alike, except in all the ways that actually matter for this discussion. What I’m trying to say is, I want you to wear this bag over your head at the next meet.”

Dick Tracy, 8/3/06

“Thanks for showing me the outside of your wallet, detective! I’ll do anything you say now.”

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Mark Trail, 7/31/06

Is there anything more delightful than seeing Kelly Welly repeatedly throw herself in the path of killer grizzlies as part of an ill-conceived plot to advance her career and/or bed a rugged outdoorsman — any rugged outdoorsman? Well, maaybe Mark describin the situation with a sentence that would never spontaneously come out of the mouth of any under the age of 85. We could spend the rest of the summer in a continuous Kelly-does-something-foolish/gets-menaced-by-bears/gets-rescued-by-Mark-and/or-Rick/gets-yelled-at-by-Mark/makes-eyes-at-Rick-and/or-Mark loop and I would still be a happy guy.

Mary Worth, 7/31/06

Speaking of delightful: I don’t have much to say about today’s Mary Worth, except that today’s second panel might be one of the most pleasing Mary Worth panels in many a moon. The only way it could be better would be if she actually hurled her grocery bags into the air, with fruit, cinnamon, and flour flying everywhere — but still, we’ve got Mary shouting “AAUGH!” and radiating panic lines as a bow-tied Aldo Kelrast appears out of nowhere, so let’s not look gift horses in the mouth! In fact, let’s all bathe in the comforting glow of its pleasingness:

Aaaaahhhh.

Luann, 7/31/06

Just FYI, “couples retreat” is code for “swingers convention.”

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Curtis, 7/30/06

Here’s a good candidate for the “When Ambitious Artistic Gambits Go Bad” file. Ma and Pa Wilkins are having a nice little bedside chat, gazing lovingly at each other in their bedroom mirror. It’s an interesting technique that establishes the mood well and offers a different angle on what could have been a typical scene. Unfortunately, the fact that Mrs. Wilkins’ word balloons seem to be emanating from her reflection, while Mr. Wilkins’ come from off-panel in the direction of his actual body, make it look like there’s a third person in the room doing the talking. The effect is deeply, deeply unsettling, at least to me.

To note: Mr. Wilkins’ spiffy mustache in the flashback panel. Best not thought about: the egregious “barking dogs” imagery in the throwaway second panel.

Mary Worth, 7/30/06

Look at Aldo’s reflection in the final panel: while his actual face makes him look grimly determined to get his stalk on, his reflection looks nervous, timid, and unsure. Perhaps we’re looking at a dichotomy like the Green Goblin’s in the first Spider-Man movie, where the real-life Aldo plots evil and nefariousness, while the mirror-Aldo represents his conscience and tries to prevent him from killing and dismembering yet another grey-haired morsel who won’t submit to his advances. At any rate, this may be the first instance in any visual medium in which a man puts on a bow tie to presage his murderous intentions.

Throwaway panel item of note: the Charterstone homeowner’s association has apparently approved the construction of some sort of bamboo Great Wall, no doubt to keep the riffraff out. The presence of the evil Mr. Kelrast illustrates the folly of such measures.