Archive: Mary Worth

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During a recent visit to a D.C.-area old folks’ home, I found an abandoned Style section from the Washington Post in the billiards room. In addition to the traditional “What’s In-What’s Out” New Year’s feature (and half of the “in” items I’ve never heard of, including “The Maybach”, “Move that bus!”, and “Annasophia Robb”, thus proving conclusively that I am not “in”), it also included the following cartoon, which sort of does my job for me. I figured I’d reproduce it here to tide you over since I’m being such a slacker about posting stuff this week.

I should have new comics up by this evening, but I make no promises. If you’re getting desperate for comics-derived larfs, I urge you to check out these poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

Update: Also funny: Subdivided We Stand’s recap of the last few weeks of Mary Worth.

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Mary Worth, 12/21/04

Boy, in this storyline, Mary Worth’s evil manipulating ways are finally out in the open. First, she openly urged Anna to pursue a married man; now she’s planting seeds of doubt in Anna’s mind to make sure that she can’t just have a pleasant romantic experience, but will rather be sabotaged by second-guessing. It’s not clear if Mary’s pulling this nonsense because she’s disappointed that Brian is single after all, or if she just likes screwing with people’s heads. Either way, it’s becoming clear that her need for drama is wreaking havoc on the lives of those around her. In three to five years, she’ll no doubt be waiting at the exit gate to the state pen, waiting for Tommy with a nice big brown bag of “stuff.”

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In an attempt to be positive despite the cruel oppression under which I suffer, I thought I’d offer some extra-special serial comic-y goodness today. These strips will serve both to amuse and to show those bastards at the Sun how wrong, wrong, wrong their whole decision-making process is.

Apartment 3-G, 12/13/04

This is great. Margo has long ago managed to alienate her roommates, her family, and her clients. Now she’s managing to antagonize even her fellow enslaved garment workers. And if that pissy face in the last panel is any indication, she’s still managing to learn nothing from this whole experience. And why the tree, anyway? I think these guys are pretty half-assed about the whole ruthless-exploitation-of-the-innocent thing.

Mary Worth, 12/13/04

Let’s see … housedress … housedress … choir robe … why, Anna, it looks like you’ve got plenty of nice things. I don’t see why you have to waste your money down at the store!

Now, can Zits match any of that? I ask you.