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Beetle Bailey, 11/13/22

This is an actually pretty good Beetle Bailey, in my opinion. It uses the longer Sunday format to interesting effect: taking what should be a sharp shock — an NCO plans to set a vicious dog onto one of the soldiers under his command in a grotesque abuse of power — and smooths it down into rambling day in the life story about the dog. He doesn’t want to do any harm. His heart’s not in it. It’s just a job, really. But never let it be said that he won’t do his job.

Mary Worth, 11/13/22

Mary seems pretty eager for gossip — “So, changed your mind about any marriage proposals after your boyfriend almost died in the stupidest way possible lately?” — but frankly Iris has been checked out from the Charterstone buzz factory so much lately that Mary’s probably not even up to speed enough to wonder about that. I’m guessing she’s actually angling for more info on whatever “items” Iris just dropped off for Tommy. The California electorate may have decided that citizens are allowed to smoke whatever they want, but the Charterstone condo board still has some standards.

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Mary Worth, 11/11/22

“Nah, babe. Even the prospect of our tragic death can only shake us out of the boring ruts of our usual routine for a day or so. That’s why we’ve got to plan our upcoming wedding … it’s just out of the ordinary enough to make us feel like everything isn’t undifferentiated sameness with no beginning or end. And after the wedding? Well, we’ll just have to come up with something else, hopefully not suicide.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/11/22

I dunno man, I feel like it’s a bad sign that Mr. Wilson hasn’t even bothered to tape over that window or anything. Just left a big jagged hole! Like he’s given up on everything! I hope the UPS man isn’t delivering something he’s going to use to harm his neighbors, or himself.

Pardon My Planet, 11/11/22

A new addition to the list of Things You Can Just Put In A Newspaper Comic Now Where God And Everyone Can See It: a blowup sex doll. Congrats, Pardon My Planet!

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Crock, 11/8/22

As America’s #1 syndicated newspaper comic strip blogger, I probably have a better handle on the internal lore of many of the strips than their actual creators do. I’m not mad about this, it’s actually funny to me, but it does mean I’m compelled to point out that (a) Grossie and Maggot live in a tent, so it’s strange to think they have indoor plumbing complete with ceramic fixtures, and (b) Maggot’s job in the Foreign Legion is digging latrine pits, so it’s sad that this issue has become another source of conflict for them rather than something they can bond over.

Mary Worth, 11/8/22

OK, it turns out that Zak almost falling to his death did prompt Iris to change her mind about marriage, but not because she was faced with the awful realization of what life without him would be like and decided that she wanted to fully commit herself to their relationship. Nope, it was because the incident in which they worked together to save his life after he did something extremely stupid showed what a great team they were, and why shouldn’t those teammates get the tax advantages they have coming to them?