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Well, faithful readers, it’s that time of year again: the time where I go on a multi-city Christmas traveling trip! Since so many folks are traveling or spending time at home and away from the Interweb this time of year anyway, I hereby give all of you the next 10 days off from reading my site. I’ll be back on January 1! Or possibly January 2. We’ll see what I feel like.

But I can’t leave you without offering the comment of the (truncated, once again) week!

“Mary Worth will seem more exciting if you hum the riff to ‘Barracuda’ under your breath as you read it. I mean this specifically with respect to the ‘two small dogs very, very gradually approaching one another’ storyline, but I suppose it would work any time.” –Keg of Curd

And, of course, there are runners up:

“On the contrary, Eric has long dreamed of a Han Solo proposition scene. It’s just that, well, he was dressed as Han and making the proposition, and Margo, his crying sister-in-law, or some random hooker was dressed as Princess Leia. The look on his face is the look of a man who’s just realized that his innermost fantasy is coming true, only it’s the wrong kind of proposition and there’s a slave girl outfit that’s just not going to wear itself.” –Jp

“Knowing nothing about football or the terms involved, I have no way of envisioning the game based on Marty’s speech. Based on the drawings, I’m going to go ahead and assume that football is another word for ‘line dancing.'” –Rhekarid

“So, um, Mark now wanders around talking to his dog and putting things he finds on the ground in his mouth? There’s people around here who do that. We call them ‘the homeless.'” –SmartPeopleOnIce

“Okay, now I get it. Remember the concern with Rex being ‘disappointed’ in Niki? Apparently meth-mom got wind that Rex was planning an overly elaborate sting for Niki in the woods. You may be thinking too overly elaborate but remember they spent about 8 months with trout metaphors.” –Sans Sense

“This is why I don’t read Marmaduke. It makes me go fetal in despair.” –The Avocado Avenger

“Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider your nephew can.” –The Waz

“MY REPORT ON SIMON KRANDIS by Spider-Man Peter, Age 30. Simon Krandis is a mean old man who lives in a big house with a guy in a green suit and orange tie. He doesn’t have any wife or kids and owns a newspaper or a TV station I think. He is big and fat and probably smells bad. One time Simon Krandis wanted to date my wife so he sent The Persuader who is the guy who keeps blowing up our delivery trucks to talk to her but she hit him with something and now hes probably all mad. I looked for him on Google but didnt find much that wasn’t some stupid blog about how bad comic strips are.” –Inspector Dim

“Obviously neither of these women have had their dogs for very long. When the dogs meet, the owners just yank on the leash, smile politely to the owners, chuckle and walk away. You do not allow the lady in heels and the tight clothing to fall down, then predictably spend the next two months fixing her life’s problems.” –Charles

“What Mary Worth is doing with her hand in panel one is wiping off a stray piece of salmon-colored lint that somehow landed on the shoulder of her more exquisitely wretched puce pantsuit. The exclamation mark she utters in panel two is surprise that a salmon-wearing harridan would dare speak to her, especially after the lint incident.” –Electro

“Normally, I wouldn’t condone using a leash to throw a dog like a yo-yo. But then, normally, it isn’t a yip dog being thrown at Mary Worth in Chairman Mao’s pajamas.” –kitty

“Pity the poor chihuahua lady, because today she has made a powerful and unbelievably petty enemy.” –Trilobite

“Peter Parker: ‘It’s tooo harrrrrrrrddddd. Waaaaaaaaaaa!’ MJ: (says something about an event important to her that, if Peter had paid any attention to what she says or does at all, he would know about) Peter Parker: ‘Huh? Nooooooo! Meeeeeeeeeeee!’ Really. Must. Stop. Reading. Spider-Man.” –Girl Reporter

Oh, and hey there! Here’s a fine picture of faithful reader Dave (of TDIET fame from earlier this week) and his son Clifford at the Baseball Hall of Fame! Dave is sporting his fine Margo Warhol shirt, which as always you can purchase for money from the Comics Curmudgeon store.

Dave also sells his own homeroasted coffee beans (you may have noticed the ads around the site). 100 percent of the money you spend on his coffee benefits the Batten Disease Support and Research Association, so check it out!

Speaking of ads, we must as ever give thanks to our advertisers:

• Have a Handmade Holiday!: Give the hottest handmade gifts this year! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!
• Learn to draw the human figure: Acclaimed anatomy training course! Used by leading entertainment studios worldwide in 60 countries — the likes of LucasFilm, ILM, RedStorm, Midway, Blizzard. Learn to draw the human figure from your mind for illustration, comic books, manga, anime, game design, and all art fields.

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This next bit is NOT an ad, but a genuine unsolicited recommendation! If you’re looking for a cool comic (on paper, not this Internet crap), I urge you to check out MariNaomi’s Estrus!

And finally, here’s a little talker to keep you entertained in my absence. My wife spotted a comment on a Defamer.com story about a new Catherine Keener movie featuring women living in a NYC apartment building that suggested that Keener would make a perfect Margo from Apartment 3-G. (I would bet that said commentor is almost certainly a reader of this site, but never mind that for the moment.) What current and/or former movie stars would you cast as you favorite soap strip characters? Discuss, and I’ll see you in 2008!

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Ack! I used faithful reader Brown-Eyed Girl’s pic of an anarchist Santa, but have been terribly remiss in relaying her meetup report! Let’s make amends now! Here it is, straight from her mouth (or typing fingers, anyway):

Oregon mudges Deena in OR, Brown-eyed Girl, gnome de blog, and redlikerubies met up at Powell’s Bookstore in downtown Portland. (leathermessiah was supposed to join us, but foolishly chose academic obligations over fun. Silly leathermessiah). The sun actually shone that day, which I take as a sign that the deity was well-pleased that another Comics Curmudgeon meet-up had occurred. As it happened, our table was right next to the comics section. Of course we posed in front of
the display. Deena in OR is holding Dykes to Watch Out For, I have Family Circus, gnome de blog chose a general book on comics, while redlikerubies found a particularly heinous For Better or For Worse. (Photography by Mr. redlikerubies, who patiently waited while we scrabbled through the shelves and was an all-around good sport.)

If you’d like to meet up with your fellow readers, check out the meetup forum! A quick glance shows that there’s a big one brewing in New Orleans for December 26…

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Stupid work will delay Monday comics until the wee hours, but I didn’t want to deny you the joy of the comment of the week.

“It’s tough to get yourself into the rhythm of a street fight when you spend so much time on exposition: ‘Look! It’s the teenager with sallow skin whose membership in a higher socioeconomic class I resent! And the now-teenager who tormented me in first grade, leading to a long-harbored animosity on my part! Get them!'” –Hubris

And the runners up! A particularly hilarious batch.

“Or else Pitfall Harry is Ted’s stripper name for himself. That would make more sense.” –The Uncola

“But why does Ziggy even want cable? Other people watch TV to enjoy movies without leaving the house, or to escape their daily troubles, but Ziggy can’t even see a gum wrapper on the sidewalk without it somehow serving as a reminder of what a loser he is. I’d say the best thing for him would be a sensory deprivation chamber and massive doses of lithium, or maybe thorazine. There is also a definite possibility that this has already happened, and what we see is the result.” –Donald The Anarchist

“Francie’s right. Everything does smell like legs.” –Red Greenback

“Ah, Brad and Toni — it’s like Tracy/Hepburn for imbeciles.” –Uncle Lumpy

“What the hell does that mean. It makes no sense. It makes negative sense. The Family Circus owes us sense, and a lot of it, too.” –Lord-z

“The face of utter despair on daddy Keane clearly indicates that those papers are of the paternity tests he does every month. Today’s papers, as every time, indicate that Jeffy is indeed his son.” –Wili

“Whenever Mary says the ‘important’ (using the term loosely) line of the day’s strip, she always looks up as though something is on the ceiling. I like to think that the drivel she spouts is actually written on cue cards, and she’s just forced to say whatever is pasted on the ceiling. It makes me feel slightly better when I read the strip.” –Jemmy

“I think it would be a cosmic act of mercy if a giant flaming meteorite landed right on top of that gingerbread house while Brad and the perpetually-grinning TJ were sound asleep and could be instantly flambeed. The funerals would provide material for a couple of weeks and add some much-needed gravitas to the strip. And the mournful eulogies about TJ’s perpetual smile would actually be true.” –Poteet

“‘What’s with the Santa hat in the office, Bumstead?’ ‘I thought it would make things a little more festive, boss.’ ‘It’s not festive! It’s black, you feckless slop-gobbler!’ ‘So is your soul, you withered old crustacean! [fisticuffs]” –Keg of Curd

“Just because I don’t completely understand [the second panel of this Gil Thorp] doesn’t mean I don’t find it completely awesome! Spider-Man and Phantom take note: this is action! I think.” –PeteMoss

“It looks to me as though Mary is accosting random passers-by with her inane platitudes. ‘Hey, you with the ball! Who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away? You there in the jeans, let’s just enjoy today! Don’t walk away from me like that! I know you can hear me!'” –Cheese-n-Pear

“Look, kid, I already expelled you from my uterus. Can’t you take a hint?” –cheech wizard

“In the third panel of Funky Winkerbean, I can’t tell if Pete’s black pen is meant to signify the little black cell phone on which a lady would make a booty call, or Pete’s little putrefied penis, which he enjoys cradling at a 45-degree angle, to brush against the various covers of his comic books. Either way I hope he never contacts me on J-Date.” –RaJ

“‘Wombo’ is the most disturbing name ever in the They’ll Do It Every Time canon. ‘Are you disobeying me? Have you forgotten where you came from? I don’t see how you could, considering I named you after it. My womb, that’s right. So unless I’m mistaken and you didn’t come out of my body, you’ll do what I say. Now go tell your sister Utera that it’s time for dinner.'” –Francis

As ever, attention must be paid to our advertisers:

• Have a Handmade Holiday!: Give the hottest handmade gifts this year! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!
• Learn to draw the human figure: Acclaimed anatomy training course! Used by leading entertainment studios worldwide in 60 countries — the likes of LucasFilm, ILM, RedStorm, Midway, Blizzard. Learn to draw the human figure from your mind for illustration, comic books, manga, anime, game design, and all art fields.
• Swimming Without A Net: Fred is back! Except she’s hooked on both a powerful mer-prince, and a hunky marine biologist. What’s a girl supposed to do? Catch up on Fred’s misadventures and read an excerpt.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.