Post Content

Hello there! Why not enjoy a comment of the week on a fine Sunday afternoon?

“Mary Worth in a nutshell: Not ‘there’s a lot to learn from our four-footed friends,’ but ‘there’s a lot to be said about learning from our four-footed friends.'” –Sharona

And now that your appetite has been whetted, why not enjoy the runners up?

“These kids may seem crazy, but if you ask me, they’re crazy-smart, using a Ford Taurus to conduct their mischief-making. The cops will never stop them; they’ll never even notice them.” –Salmon Pink

“Holy freaking cow! It’s like the oompa loompas gangbanged Judy Garland.” –SmartPeopleOnIce

“Cully isn’t rolling out with ‘Boyd Henry and his friends,’ with ‘friends’ in the plural, unless someone is hiding in the backseat. Which means Mitch didn’t ‘find’ the money so much as he ‘earned it from whoever is going down on him in that last panel.'” –Sobek

“Margo is totally about to crush her tiny cellphone using just her fist in panel three. I bet Margo goes through phones like most people go through chewing gum. Or like Tommie goes through Kleenex and anti-depressants.” –Tats

“And if you don’t go to college, well … you remember that song ‘Fancy,’ right? Well, that’s gonna be you.” –Nate

“I prefer to read Johnny Malotte’s ‘If they like our camp’ as ‘If they enjoy our drag show’. His son wouldn’t be the first person to work his way through college by dancing for businessmen.” –Francis

“Cindy has that vile Winkerbeanian smirk that comes from years of pretending to have emotions. Her divorce from Funky must surely have been smirkingly smug.” –The Avocado Avenger

“Worst job in the Malotte compound? Cleaning the hair out of the drains. This must be done hourly and requires patience, intestinal fortitude, and a strong lower back.” –Joe Blevins

“Occam’s Razor would suggest that Ian keeps the dog hidden away in his beard. It feeds on errant crumbs and dribbled soup.” –Plus a constant

“Bless you, Dolly. Nobody can stupidly state the obvious to nobody in particular better than you.” –Jordan

“You know, Mary, someone once said, ‘Let sleeping dogs lie.’ But then again, someone else also said, ‘Wouldn’t it be great to see Mary Worth get her face ripped off by a rabid dog?'” –John C Fremont

“DT: Tess is ‘worried about, Dick in that weird house.’ What an odd, and awkward, euphemism for one’s vagina.” –PeteMoss

“I reckon the only possible arc for Mary Worth to take is a neutering story. Can’t have the pup upsetting the strip’s delicately balanced, 100% sexless ecology.” –Keg of Curd

“It’s obvious! The ‘snap’ is Sam doing the drag queen gesture of contempt. It’s called foreshadowing, people! Margo will fall for him and then he’ll reveal his secret! Or he has fallen for her because he thinks she is a man. We get to watch as he recoils in horror.” –Doodle Bean

“What a testament to Milford’s extraordinary level of social integration, that persons from all walks of life — from the Rock and Roll Carole King, to elements of the bad news white trash crew wearing unsleeved wife-beaters, to a 68-year-old school functionary paid to look at buses — all have exactly the same hairstyle!” –Joel

“I went to Montoni’s New York and all I got was this lousy T-shirt … and cancer and suicidal depression!” –smacky

“ENTER THE MARMTRIX!” –norbizness

“The Malotte family is an illustration of the ‘quantity over quality’ principle of Darwinian evolution.” –Moss_Moses

“The Persuader is one of the most frightening supervillains ever to stain a page of newsprint. He just lopped off two of his fingers with his knife and didn’t make a sound. Next: ‘Tell me what I want to hear or else I will cut off my fingers!'” –PTrig

We sure enjoy our advertisers, and we hope you do too:

• Scratch Golfer: Got a golfer on your Christmas list? This book by faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader and contributor Wille Thompson is a devilishly funny book about life, business, and the golf match from Hell. It’s the perfect gift for your golfing friends, and signed, pre-publication copies are available up to December 20. Josh has read and APPROVES!
• Treat yourself!: Shana Logic loves Joshreads fans because they are independent, rockin’, super nice art lovers! That’s why they know you’ll love Shana Logic’s hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more!
• Learn to draw the human figure: Acclaimed anatomy training course! Used by leading entertainment studios worldwide in 60 countries — the likes of LucasFilm, ILM, RedStorm, Midway, Blizzard. Learn to draw the human figure from your mind for illustration, comic books, manga, anime, game design, and all art fields.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

Post Content

Wasting time on the Internet on this hour-longer, falling-back Saturday night? Perhaps you might enjoy these contributions from various faithful readers! First off, faithful reader Alley Cat offers this comparison between pre- and post-jump Funky Winkerbean (the character, not the strip). Boy, the hard life of a franchise-founding plutocrat will take a toll on a guy:

Those of you who haven’t seen it will probably also enjoy faithful reader Dingo’s video masterpiece, the Saga of Vera and Drew:

Dingo is also responsible for a brilliant Flash animation called “Mary Worth’s Bicycle Ride”; check it out on his site.

Post Content

People! Do you recall that I told you some weeks ago about the glory and majesty of Mark Trail Theater, a genuine Mark Trail-simulating performance in which your humble blogger would appear? And that it would be part of a larger variety show called Glitterama that would include many other acts that you would find amusing and amazing? It has come to my attention that many of you live within easy reach of Baltimore, and yet have not acquired tickets! This post will give you an opportunity to rectify your oversight! The details, again, for those that missed it:

• What: Mark Trail Theater, an eight-or-so-minute play that both lampoons and pays homage to America’s favorite asexual cartoon outdoorsman, Mark Trail, within the context of a larger variety show! Other acts in the show include comedy, burlesque, acrobatics, and more! Some acts may contain nudity, raunchiness, or inscrutable performance art, not appropriate for the younger kiddies, etc.
• Who: Me, my lovely wife, and several fellow aficionados of Mark Trail and/or irony, including a guy who looks uncannily like Mark Trail and another guy who we conned into wearing this bear suit:

  

  
• When: Friday, November 9th at 8 p.m.; Saturday, November 10th and 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Doors open 30 minutes before show time.
• Where: Load of Fun Studios at 120 W. North Avenue in Baltimore. Mere steps away from the main Baltimore train station, so if you’re thinking, “Gee, I live in Washington/Philadelphia and don’t have a car, so I can’t come,” YOU JUST LOST YOUR EXCUSE, BUSTER!
• How: Huh, I … I don’t know exactly what that question means in this context. Oh, you want to know how to buy tickets? Well, you can buy them at the door, or reserve them online at Brown Paper Tickets. Only $10!

(Since I encourage the dramatization of Mark Trail in as many media as possible, I must point out that an entirely separate group of kindred spirits already do Mark Trail Theater … on the radio!)

Speaking of acting out comics: The unstoppable mother-daughter team of faithful readers that is Rainbird and Huntinbyrd felt that last Thursday’s Mary Worth cried out for a re-enactment. I think you’ll find the results both delightful and unsettling, just as I did:

And finally, faithful reader Toonhead has taken those bizarre body angles and karate-chop motions that we all know and love so well from Mary Worth and to their logical extreme by editing them together and adding 1974’s smash novelty hit “Kung Fu Fighting” as a soundtrack. Enjoy!