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Mark Trail, 9/27/11

Is it possible for a character in Mark Trail to behave in a fashion so detached from the realities of human motivation that he will shock even Mark into self-awareness? To recap: Mountie McQueen is afraid that people will find out that he and his mother are engaged in the odd but (to the best of my knowledge) wholly innocent and legal pastime of putting bands printed with bible verses on the legs of geese. This bible-banding operation was stumbled upon by Andy, a dog who can neither understand what he saw at Mother McQueen’s cabin nor describe it to anyone else. Nevertheless, the risk of exposure is too great, and now Andy must be taken prisoner based on a completely fabricated rabies scare.

Mark’s befuddled “What?” shows that this is one insane thing too much even for a man who deals with insane things without comment every day of his life. If nothing else, one must assume that Andy’s rabies shots are all up to date, seeing as Mark’s live-in father-in-law is a vet. (You’d also think that Andy would have been fixed, too, though the way he scampered off after Princess might imply otherwise.)

Funky Winkerbean, 9/27/11

Oh look, it’s the time of year where Les worries frantically that his Lisa’s Legacy Walk will somehow go awry and fail to keep up its streak of not curing cancer. This year everyone will be pelted by a cold rain, which, if we’re lucky, will mean that after the strip’s next time jump Summer will be running the Les’s Legacy Walk to cure pneumonia.

Gil Thorp, 9/27/11

Was that sports action in panel one too thrilling for you? Don’t worry: in panel two, you only have to hear about a fumble being run back for a touchdown, and can relax by just looking at a guy handing a football to a ref. In panel three, just enjoy a soothing Marty Moon closeup rather than looking at something anxiety-inducing like a successful two-point conversion.

Momma, 9/27/11

Aren’t Momma’s memories of her long-dead husband usually quite worshipful? This strip implies that she held him in as much passive-aggressive contempt as she does her children. Actually, from the dubious way that picture is looking at her, it seems that she’s had his soul preserved in photographic form via dark magic, the better to torment him throughout eternity.

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Momma, 9/8/11

The best installments of Momma (and by “best” I mean “most horrifying and unsettling”) are the ones where Momma feels compelled to meddle in the sexual lives of her children. Today we get a classic Momma euphemism (“I hope your vagina isn’t becoming too … involved, shall we say … with that Herby fellow’s penis”), which is always fun; but much better is the final panel, in which MaryLou, having suppressed the natural expression of her sexual feelings just long enough to get out the door, is convulsed by a full-body lust-spasm.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/8/11

Snuffy Smith has absolutely no achievements of note: he can’t hold down a steady job, he’s a notorious criminal, he survives only due to his poaching and petty theft, and he can’t even be bothered to help his wife with basic household chores. This all no doubt takes a toll on his self-esteem, so he’s looking for whatever glory he can get; unfortunately, the best he can do is try to claim (based on a vague similarity of his name to a common slang term) proprietary rights over the sort of low-level respiratory infection that is endemic to Hootin’ Holler due to the populace’s poor hygiene, which in turn stems from their refusal to acknowledge that flatlanders’ fancy germ theory of disease.

Gasoline Alley, 9/8/11

At long last, Skeezix and Nina have worked out their washer-dryer situation and are taking their long-awaited vacation! Day one: Some dude invites Sheezix to take a dump on his porch.

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Apartment 3-G, 7/13/11

This isn’t something I usually say, but: kudos to both the artist and the colorist for Apartment 3-G, for livening up this somewhat dull installment! The jagged dividing line in panel two does an excellent job of depicting Lu Ann’s sudden panic at having to try to interact with two people at once.

Momma, 7/13/11

I guess it really shouldn’t come as surprise that a strip that thinks of the Tennessee Valley Authority as a universally recognized cultural touchstone would also think of efforts to dredge navigation channels and build enormous dams as a “conservation project.”

Judge Parker, 7/13/11

Boy, I’ve been kind of slacking when it comes to keeping you up to date on the plot of Judge Parker, haven’t I? I don’t have the energy to discuss all the twists and turns, but the fact that things have ended with one of the smug, rich, attractive people who rule this strip receiving the chanting adulation of dozens of adoring proles should come as a surprise to nobody.