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Beetle Bailey, 11/12/21

Plato is exactly the kind of dork who would try to pull off the “the most erotic organ of all is the brain” thing, but declaring that he’s about to read erotic fiction and jerk off his cerebral cortex right here in front of everybody is a bridge too far.

Family Circus, 11/12/21

Meanwhile, Billy is claiming to have some kind of terrible amoeboid brain parasite in a last ditch effort to avoid the consequences of just being kind of dumb.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/12/21

Here’s today’s Mother Goose and Grimm! It’s about some dogs that are about to piss on another dog’s tongue.

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Hi and Lois, 10/5/21

I’m not sure when, strictly speaking, we can say that untucked shirts came into fashion, but I’m going to say that it’s been … pretty much my entire adult life? And I’m 47? Anyway, I like how absolutely thrilled Hi looks in panel one. He never thought he’d live to see the day when a man might untuck his shirttails and still retain his dignity, but that day has arrived, and his life has been transformed.

Marvin, 10/5/21

There are two big narrative problems with this strip. One is that Bitsy’s character model includes full-time collar wearing — he’s got one on in this very strip — so it’s weird for the fish to imply that it’s a potty-specific accessory. Maybe this should’ve said “leash”? Two, fish “go potty” in their own bowl, turning their very environment into a stew of their own wastes, which is surely more shameful than however you want to think about what dogs have going on this department. The thing I hate about Marvin is that it makes you think about pissing and shitting on several narrative layers at any given moment.

Pluggers, 10/5/21

Look, when pluggers are all smug about how down-homey and real-American they are, I enjoy getting riled up about it. But when they’re wracked with shame about their strange, man-animal bodies? That’s a lot less fun, in my opinion. Please, pluggers, get your act together so you may remain a worthy antagonist for me!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/5/21

Jokes on you, Grimm! That guy’s not a man at all! He’s a bird!

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Mark Trail, 9/6/21

I’ve been enjoying Mark’s fish-out-of-water misadventures in wildlife-themed social media, and especially Cherry’s return to Elrod-era badassery. But it’s deeply satisfying to see Mark head back into his element, confident hand on the wheel and fully prepared for whatever’s ahead. And the fact that he’s leaving Rusty out of yet another fishing trip, well, that’s just the icing on the cake.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/6/21

It’s funny because John and George are dead!

Pardon My Planet, 9/6/21

I dunno, Jesse, somebody put a lot of care into inking those jeans.

Take It from the Tinkersons, 9/6/21

Oh no! Clueless boss Ed interrupted Joe just as he was about to spill the beans to Ted about the real culprit in Helen’s husbands’ deaths. Now it’s six months of “My son is lazy and my dog is fat” until the facts emerge. Why is there never a Time Drone around when you need one?

Pluggers, 9/6/21

Happy Labor Day, faithful U.S. and Canadian readers! Hot dogs are sandwiches—enjoy every one!

Welp, that’s it for me! Thanks, everybody; I had a good time. Tune in again tomorrow for Josh’s triumphant return!

— Uncle Lumpy