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“Hello kids, and welcome back to World of Animals — I’m your beloved host, Carl. Well, it’s been quite a while, so let’s all catch up — on entertaining Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!”

Arctic Circle, 9/5/21

Did you know that turtles get parasites? It’s true! We’re prone to nematodes, tapeworms, flukes … a few roundworms even help with our notoriously slow digestion—thanks, symbionts! But we try to be a little discreet about it, you know? We don’t go walking around with some blood-sucker hanging off the outside of our shell, like this guy. That’s just vulgar!

Mark Trail, 9/5/21

Everybody knows spiders are arachnids and centipedes are arthropods and bees are insects, but did you know they’re all bugs? It’s true! And don’t go hating on them—you humans are badly outnumbered!

Mutts, 9/5/21

Have you heard the saying, “Dogs are good?” Don’t believe it! They are emotionally manipulative con artists, thieves, and gluttons!

Slylock Fox (panels), 9/5/21

Did you know that animal societies are quite complex, with interactions we can’t always explain? It’s true! Fortunately, Nature always leaves clues.

Slylock Fox (panel), 9/5/21

Spoiler Alert! Like most reptiles, crocodiles are very polite!

Thanks so very much for your kind attention. I do hope we have an opportunity to get together again soon!

Very truly yours,

— Turtle Carl

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Crock, 11/18/20

The thing about Crock is that it’s years-old reruns of strips whose whole vibe was already years out of date when they were new, which I know doesn’t sound like the description of something that would be interesting to read every day, but it definitely delivers a fascinating, tangled mess of weird cultural attitudes! Like, today’s strip plays on that well-known belief that “librarians don’t have sex.” I mean, how could they have sex? They’re nerds! But the punchline here undermines this widely held stereotype: the bookmobile guy does, in fact, fuck. His paramour is named “Bertha,” though, so we can be reassured in the implication that she’s at least unattractive, and some small part of the world still makes sense.

Mutts, 11/18/20

This strip may not look like much, but it’s actually the end product of a long legal process in which the large and highly skilled team of lawyers on the payroll of Paws, Inc., ensured Garfieldian dominance over feline Monday-disliking for years to come.

Mary Worth, 11/18/20

tiny withered arm not connected to anything tiny withered arm not connected to anything tiny withered arm not connected to anything

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Family Circus, 6/18/20

The Family Cirus has been teasing us with hints that the Keanes exist in a world where the coronavirus epidemic is raging, but today is the first time we’ve seen confirmation, with everyone out and about in masks. Thank goodness that the Keanes’ home state has hit whatever phase of its reopening plan includes incredibly depressing stores that sell ugly earth-tone polo shirts to families who’ll give them as Father’s Day gifts to fathers they don’t really like very much.

Mutts, 6/18/20

Hey there, adorable lisping cat from Mutts! I know you’re a real sweetheart who loves everyone, but you aware of the term obligate carnivore?

Marvin, 6/18/20

OH WOW A MARVIN PUNCHLINE ABOUT PEEING ON SOMEBODY, WHO COULD’VE PREDICTED