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Blondie, 5/31/07

I think panel two may be the first time in living memory that the art in Blondie has actually charmed me. Naturally, it consists of Dagwood transforming into some kind of horrible flame-tongued demon. The third panel, with his eyelids heavy and his antennae unravelling, is nice too.

Amusing (and totally in character) is the fact that compulsive eater Dagwood dives into his chili without waiting to find out what its rating is. It’s just one more data point about whatever it is he’s going to pour down his insatiable gullet.

One Big Happy, 5/31/07

I don’t pretend to understand the slang that the kids use today, but I’m guessing that “bustin’ up with” is some kind of code for terminating a romantic liaison. This kind of age- and good-taste-inappropriate imagined relationship has precedent with Joe. At least today’s instance is less traumatic than this, or (shudder) this.

I also note that Joe and Ruthie’s mother appears to be sending a bottle of booze as a gift to their teachers, which indicates a very clear-sighted understanding of what her kids are like.

Pluggers, 5/31/07

This is why 35-year-old male pluggers spend so much time around high schools. And why female pluggers tend to die alone after falling and breaking a hip.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 5/31/07

And here’s faithful reader Trotzenbonnie’s second TDIET since Monday! She’s managed to provide this feature with roughly 28 percent of its material this week. I have to say that I’m always a little disturbed by the common TDIET combo, seen in the top panel, of super-angry face and open palm — it always looks like a lot of slapping’s about to happen. But I admit to giggling at “blows his toupee.”

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Hey kids! Do you know where mom hides the good scissors? Are you waiting for the day when you’ll graduate from adorable malapropisms and overactive imaginary scenarios into full-on murder? Why not announce it to the world — in t-shirt form?

Yes, merchandise displaying the excellent graphic above, which was created by faithful reader Wille Thompson, is available for purchase at CafePress. As usual, I’ve put a few starter shirts in the store, but if you’d like to see this logo on some other product — shirts, hoodies, mugs, what have you — just e-mail me and let me know.

Also! Another fab blog for your delectation! Plugwatch 200X is another in the ever-growing roster of Blogs That Focus On One Comic Every Day. Blogger JLR takes every day’s Pluggers and transforms it into a little mini-short-story that brings the longing and loss of the cartoon out of the subtext and into the forefront. It’s as if you crossed Pluggers and Funky Winkerbean and put the result into textual form. I just discovered this blog this week, but it hasn’t been updated since November; however, there was a brief notice posted earlier this month that the blogger was struck by personal tragedy. Still, said blogger says that more are coming soon, and even if not, the archives are great.

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Apartment 3-G, 1/19/07

You know who I hope is at the door? Fun Tommie! Yes, the reason Tommie’s been so boring is that, due to a freakish space-time anomaly, she was split into “Dull Tommie” and “Fun Tommie,”
with the former being the one we’ve been watching all this time. As to where “Fun Tommie” went, she’s been boozing and screwing her way up and down Manhattan for most of the last three years, and is finally coming back to take a nap.

Sadly, it’s actually no doubt Gina at the door, come to say something rude and then flit off. Or a boring dark-haired white guy in a blue suit to sweep Tommie off her feet. YAAAAWWWWNNN.

Beetle Bailey, 1/19/07

I think the coloring gnomes are finally forcing the integration of the comics by any means necessary. First TDIET sees its first ever person of color, then suddenly Killer becomes black. We shall overcome!

One Big Happy, 1/19/07

So, as this freezing family trudges ever-deeper into this endless, inescapable forest, who are we betting on being the sole survivor of the inevitable descent into cannibalism? Dad would be the early favorite, since he’s the strongest and a nominal authority figure, but don’t count out Ruthie: she’s scrappy, has a low center of gravity, and is completely batshit insane. Joe — poor surly, none-too-bright Joe — doesn’t really stand a chance.

Marmaduke, 1/19/07

Wow. When Maxi Light and Power celebrates another profitable quarter at its next shareholders’ meeting, and they honor everyone who helped bring the company stock price up another six percent, I hope that, along with the CEO who broke the union and cut unnessecary expenditures on power plant safety equipment, this nameless poodle, who repeatedly and selflessly submitted to sexual slavery just so Maxi’s crack staff could read this damn meter, is singled out for public recognition.

Pluggers, 1/19/07

“You’re know you are really a plugger?” Wow, and I thought this strip’s “Plugger’s/Pluggers” problem earlier this week was bad. Presumably this is meant to distract us from the “content” of this “joke”, which boils down to “You know you’re a plugger if you have a child when you’re relatively young and then live for another sixty years or so.”