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Pluggers and Hi and Lois, 11/11/23

Happy Veterans Day, everyone! Do you think the United States is on the verge an apocalyptic war for national survival that will require us to call old men back into military service in a last-ditch and almost certainly doomed effort to fight back the overwhelming force of the enemy? Probably not, right? But still, it’s fun to keep those guys on their toes by hinting that it might be necessary in syndicated newspaper comics, their favorite form of media.

Gil Thorp, 11/11/23

Speaking of grizzled war vets, Gil Thorp apparently fought in the U.S. Army Air Force against the Luftwaffe during World War II, which means that he’s some sort of ageless immortal, which in turn has a lot of implications for any number of Gil Thorp plots. Like his slo-mo ongoing divorce, for instance: sure, it’s painful, but it’s something he has to go through every few decades, before his current wife starts to notice that he looks exactly like he did the day they got married.

Blondie, 11/11/23

Dagwood’s rich parents made sure he never got drafted into World War I or any of the wars that followed it, so no, Blondie will not be acknowledging Veterans Day, thank you very much. Anyway, a big problem with this strip is that the joke is supposed to be that Dagwood is hearing people use “beef” metaphorically and it makes him hungry for an all-beef hamburger patty, but then one of the speakers on TV is named “Mr. Burgomaster,” which kind of implies he’s already watching some kind of burger-themed entertainment, which muddles things, I think. Another problem with it is that it disrespects the troops.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/23

So the exciting (?) Mud/Rene kidnapping plot is over (??), and I gotta say probably the perfect sum up to any given Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline is “What did you make of that?” “Hard to say.”

Pluggers, 10/15/23

Sometimes Pluggers panels can pack in a lot of sociopolitical psychodrama, but despite the wordy caption, I’m pretty sure all this one is trying to convey is “pluggers are bad at golf.” Which, fair enough! Probably a lot of them are!

Mary Worth, 10/15/23

I guess Sonia is using the past tense here because her father is now retired from the military and the police, but I prefer to believe that she surreptitiously poisoned his root beer earlier in the evening, as soon as she realized he was the living, beefy embodiment of the Authority that she’s fought against her whole young life. You’re a dead man walking, Keith!

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Mary Worth, 10/13/23

Look, I know Sonia here is supposed to be an angry neo-hippie and is riffing on the fact that she’s arguing with her father, or “daddy,” whom she met approximately seven minutes ago, but I’m sorry: she is a zoomer, she was born in the year 2003, she has never heard anyone else say “Daddy-O” in earnest and definitely would never say it herself. Please respect the integrity of your characters, Mary Worth.

Pluggers, 10/13/23

Based on this plugger’s dazed expression as he stares down on his feet, I’m pretty sure he’s completely forgotten why he’s outside, and only seeing this particular pair of crocks clues him in to what his afternoon plans are. It’s sad, really.

Dick Tracy, 10/13/23

“Don’t want this to be a cold case. That’s what I’m calling anything we can’t figure out. Sounds better than ‘failure.’ Current location of my keys? Cold case. My wife’s birthday? You’d better believe that’s a cold case.”

Gasoline Alley, 10/13/23

“Husband? What? I thought there was something special going on between us! Have I been misreading all these signs? Are we not going to raise this child together?”