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Mary Worth, 4/7/22

Dream sequence, dream sequence, dream sequence, everybody! You might recall that years ago, during one of her fruitless attempts to psych herself up to dump Wilbur, Estelle had a bizarre dream sequence featuring boxing Wilburbabies, and more recently Dr. Drew had a psychedelic dream sequence where he was stretched to his limit by the women in his life. I can’t wait to see what on-the-nose metaphor Toby’s subconscious is about to serve up! It’s starting out promisingly with a series of nesting gazes: Cal’s affectless face staring out dumbly from the canvas, presumably for Toby’s erotic viewing, except she’s been forced to turn her back on him and lock eyes with her too-curious students. Presumably Helen’s red, demonic face is gazing up at all this, from hell.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/7/22

Fight club, fight club, fight club, everybody! Uh, I don’t have any follow up to that, I just think it’s gonna turn out this guy is part of an underground fight club, run by other guys who won’t take “Can’t this week, I have a rotator cuff injury” for an answer.

Pluggers, 4/7/22

Man, I’m not generally impressed by the insights into the human condition served up by Pluggers, but you have to admit that “At first you’re horny, but eventually you’re just cheap” has a certain bracing veracity.

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Shoe, 3/30/22

The thing about Shoe is that the bird-people have varying character designs that involve varying amounts of clothing. Some are fully clothed; some, like Shoe himself, are naked; and others, like the Perfesser, are only naked from the waist down. This is, honestly, fine, because they’re bird-people and it really doesn’t matter how naked they are, but it becomes much worse when you learn the Perfesser used to wear pants but then he got too big for them and instead of buying a different size he just stopped. Can you imagine if people did this? These birds are lucky they’re birds!

Dennis the Menace, 3/30/22

Dennis is the Chosen One of our omnipotent God, and He will support and defend Dennis no matter what, even if his behavior is so beyond the pale that his friends all reject him. Menace level: infinite.

Gasoline Alley, 3/30/22

Trying to think of a response to “Where have you two been” that’s creepier than “In our skin.” “You know, we’ve just been in here with all the blood and organs sloshing around. That’s all we are, really! Just a bunch of meat in a thin wrapper. What’ve you been up to?”

Pluggers, 3/30/22

Not sure if the normally happy go lucky readers of Pluggers are ready for today’s strip, which delivers the tough news that the plugger-wives are now BARREN

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Gil Thorp, 3/29/22

Ahhh, if it’s spring, it must be time for … the Gil Thorp baseball plot, which will definitely involve these young men and their varying degrees of enthusiasm for baseball trivia! I’m not a “sports guy” but the answer to this question has to be pitching-related, right, since they used to put pitchers in 60 games a year or whatever but now they’ve evolved into delicate, crane-like creatures capable of throwing at superhuman speeds but also they need lots of downtime between starts or their hollow bones will explode? Anyway, mostly what I’m thinking about here is how insulting it must be to be relegated to “and friends…” status behind “Scooter Borden” and “Gregg Hamm”. That’s too many Gs and too many Ms, Gregg!

The Lockhorns, 3/29/22

Someone being present during their spouse’s physical is a little unusual but not unheard of. But I like the way Loretta has her purse slung over her shoulder here. Like she could take off at any minute if this gets boring. C’mon, doc, you gotta keep teeing up the sick burns if you want her to stick around!

Pluggers, 3/29/22

Haha, I love the “lots and lots and LOTS of pluggers” credit for this one. “WE GET IT,” the Chief Plugger is saying, “YOU PEOPLE NEED MASSIVE, COSTLY, AND ONGOING PHARMACEUTICAL INTERVENTIONS IN ORDER TO LIVE”