Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

Post Content

Blondie, 5/24/21

Ha ha, the kids today! Always getting on the online and becoming millionaires! It’s almost unfair! Used to be you could get rich doing a syndicated newspaper comic strip and making people laugh all over the country! But not anymore! Now you gotta show your naked ass on SnapFans if you want anyone to take you seriously! Is that what you want, America? You want to see the naked ass of the creator of a syndicated newspaper comic strip? Because we’ll do it! We’ll show that ass! And then you can go to hell! You can go straight to hell! Fuckin’ teenagers!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/24/21

“Wow, a man so beloved that he no longer has to deal with his well-wishers as individuals, but can rather bathe in their adulation in the aggregate while his assistants take on the grunt work of actually interacting with other humans? Must be nice. Must be real nice.”

Post Content

Shoe, 5/22/21

Syndicated newspaper comics are, generally speaking, a relic from an earlier age, when there were only three TV networks and the goal for most entertainment was to be as broadly appealing as possible. But now it’s all about finding your passionate niche audience, and the strips are working to adapt. For instance, are you not yet vaccinated against COVID-19 but still open to the idea, and also you’ve always wanted to fuck one of the bird-people from Shoe? Well, today’s strip is for you.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/22/21

NEXT WEEK: REX MORGAN, M.D., PRESENTS: KITTY COP: THE POSTPONENING

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 5/14/21

Just to bring you up to date on what’s happening in Funky Winkerbean: Harry’s attempt to raise money for new choir robes using his traditional band fundraising techniques flopped, so instead the church set up a fundraiser on the in-universe equivalent of GoFundMe, called “MoneyForNothing” in what I assume is a show of contempt for the concept of online fundraising, or maybe for modern life in general. Nevertheless, once pictures of the beloved (?) choir loft cat Bingo were added to the MoneyForNothing page, the fundraiser was wildly successful, leading Harry to utter the sentence “I stand in line!”, which is … not the sort of thing one says in this situation, in my experience with conversational American English. Maybe Harry thinks “I stan,” a thing the Kids Today say when expressing admiration for someone, is short for “I stand in line?” A deeper explanation may lie in the weird Clink! Lillian’s ring produced when rapped against Harry’s chest; perhaps the real Harry died some years, and the “Harry” we’ve seen in the strip since has been a lifelike metallic android, whose English idiom algorithm is not quite up to snuff yet.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/14/21

Oh, so you think there aren’t enough medical plots in Rex Morgan, M.D., huh? Well, what if there were [thinks furiously] a pill that could help someone come up with more medical plots? Sounds pretty medical, huh? Pills? You get them from a doctor?