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Dustin, 11/8/23

There’s a lot of reasons to dislike Dustin, and one of the biggest is that it was cooked up with the premise of “Ha ha, these lazy millennials are moving back in with their parents because they’re slackers who refuse to get a job” and then was launched in newspapers in January of 2010, when the Great Recession was at its peak and unemployment stood at more than 10%. Anyway, the family dynamic has remained constant over the subsequent decade plus of economic change, and so today, with some the strongest employment numbers in living memory, we can maybe start hating Dustin for his own personal shortcomings rather than as a symbol of his generation; but I think we also might need to consider that in the world of Dustin, it has never stopped being 2010. Certainly it would explain why someone in their early 20s might talk about “the Brad Pitt look” as if that were a novel and contemporary cultural reference, although I guess it would make even more sense if the strip were actually taking place in 1997.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/8/23

At least in the context of the Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Present … Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky strips, horses in the Snuffyverse are capable of human speech. But still, it makes me very sad that they apparently need to exchange money for goods and services. They’re domesticated animals! Shouldn’t they just get a nice feed bag in their paddock to meet their needs?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/8/23

“It doesn’t have anything to do with health, so it’s not my problem! Some people say that there’s a ‘mental’ kind of health, but I’m not buying it.”

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Slylock Fox, 11/6/23

One thing I’ve never really considered about the post-animalpocalypse Slylockverse: what do the other sapient animals think about the great apes? Are they considered just one more stone in the brilliant mosaic of a multispecies world? Or are they too close to the mostly exterminated H. sapiens for comfort? Today we learn that at least some of these apes unnaturally trim their fur to better resemble stars of the clownish human entertainments that the animals still watch and half-understand. This is, I assume, off-putting for everyone involved, as Slylock’s facial expression here seems to indicate. Yet if Slick Smitty were to catch site of these stooge-apes and fly into a violent rage at their cruel mockery of his massacred fellow humans, he would be the one put in jail! Is there no justice?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/6/23

Sure, there have been a lot of changes to Rex Morgan, M.D., over the years, but we should never forget that this is primarily a strip about Rex and June Morgan, who react to perceived bullshit with some of the most hilariously withering facial expressions known to man. Whether you’re about to start a fight at a funeral or filming an informercial on your recent kidnapee’s cell phone right before you turn yourself in to the cops, the Morgans will not attempt to compose their faces into expressions of polite interest or even mild distaste.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/23

Oh, fine, I guess Buzzy and Mud aren’t boxing Rene out of the profits from his own brainwashing scam, or are at least using a stock photo of him as part of the sales pitch. You can’t profit off your crimes, but nothing about the Mirakle Method itself was criminal: it’s not illegal to transform someone’s personality to the extent that he refuses to perform “Muddy Boots” for a theater full of roots country maniacs, though that may change if the bipartisan Play The Hits Act finally passes through Congress this year.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/23

Speaking of criminality, it’s always important to remember that Snuffy has done some really nasty stuff, things that would result in nationwide calls for his immediate arrest and execution if they were ever known to the public.

Mary Worth, 11/2/23

“Why was may attempt to conquer and occupy these women with deadly force repulsed? Was there a problem with our tactical execution? Were the strategies handed down from the officer corps inadequate? Or have I once again been betrayed by the politicians in Washington who aren’t fully committed to the mission?”

Hi and Lois, 11/2/23

Oh, is your kid’s little darndest-thing-saying making you world-weary there, Hi? Maybe you should do some self-reflection about why he’s more familiar with a slot machine than a bank.

Marvin, 11/2/23

I’m sure literally nobody out there has been wondering how Marvin’s grandfather’s friend’s marriage is going, but I’m here to tell you anyway: It’s not going well! It’s not going well at all.