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Ziggy, 2/22/07

Oh, man! Zing! Who else but Ziggy would dare to make this sort of cutting, politically-charged joke about the Savings and Loan scandal? And only twenty years after the last of the fallout ended, too! Pow! Preach on, brother! Somewhere, Neil Bush’s ears are burning! And this time, it’s not something he caught from a Thai prostitute.

Mark Trail, 2/22/07

“That’s right! Mark will be none the wiser about the fact that I peed in his lake! I’ll be sipping piña coladas on a weirdly nonspecific tropical island before you know it!”

Seriously, I don’t know what’s more stilted and artificial: that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud, or that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud in a weird, circumlocutory way that preserves suspense about what exactly his evil plot is. On the other hand, maybe the whole point of this exercise has been to get that sexy second panel drawing of him shirtless, dripping wet, and perfectly coifed out there. If so, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, baby.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/22/07

“Yes, let’s go take a look … at my vagina!”

…

OK, I think I’ve gone about as far with this as I can.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/21/07

Oh, Rex Morgan, M.D., you’re working overtime to get back into my heart, and … heck, I’m gonna let ya. A couple more weeks of this and we could get to the level of Rex and Troy’s Big Gay Golf Game. Sure, if you wanted to have some kid clean your garage at 8 o’clock at night or so, you’d tell him to “go relax” while you “finish up” what you’re doing. “Yes, Mrs. Morgan, I’m happy that I’m going to ‘clean’ your ‘garage.’ You know, with my ‘tongue.’ We are talking about oral sex here, right? I mean, just checking.”

Niki actually looks a lot more like a slightly younger Rex in panel two and a lot less like the thirteen-year-old boy that I thought he was supposed to be. If there’s any shred of decency left in this world, we may be about to discover that this whole thing is some sort of elaborate role play that the Morgans are doing in a desperate attempt to keep their marriage fresh.

Pluggers, 2/21/07

THERE! YOU SEE? YOU SEE? PLUGGERS SMELL TERRIBLE! ROLLY CHURCH OF CRETE, NEBRASKA, SAID IT, NOT ME!

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Dennis the Menace, 2/17/07

OK, it’s official: somebody over at Dennis the Menace central thinks that spelling “vegetables” as “veg-tables” is automatically hilarious. And it’s not, OK? It’s just … not. Stop it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/07

“And by ‘we,’ I obviously mean ‘our dog.’ That’s why we had a V-chip installed in her brain!”

Judge Parker, 2/17/07

Wow, yesterday I thought Neddy’s weird nauseated face was supposed to represent shock and surprise; today we learn that in fact, she really is massively hung over and on the verge of hurling all over everyone waiting in line to register for classes. This will surely earn her the permanent nickname of la Barfeuse among her classmates.

Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/17/07

This tale is perhaps understood a little better if we reverse the sequence. “Howzat again? Buttbrain loathes his wife with every fiber of his being, but then … when he goes to work … heh, heh … there’s no end to the inappropriate sexual advances! OH YEAH!”