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Mary Worth, 11/27/24

Oh, man, this is incredible, we’re now on day three of Mary’s dinner guests making it very clear that they don’t mind at all that dinner’s been cancelled, and then going off and doing the thing that they’re now free to do because dinner’s been cancelled while very much not worrying about whether Mary’s dying or whatever. In Dr. Jeff’s case, the thing that he’s now free to do is to take a brisk walk alone into the woods and never come back.

Shoe, 11/27/24

Normally it would be the guy delivering the gag who would get the heavy lidded expression of despair in the second panel, indicating his shame at delivering terrible Shoe-level wordplay. But that’s not the case here, which leads me to believe this guy isn’t making a joke or anything. He’s dead serious about it: the toilet seat thing is a sick sex thing, one that drives his wife wild with desire, and it’s no doubt just the beginning of some very elaborate process that you do not want to know about. Shoe’s right to look so angry about having to hear this.

Pluggers, 11/27/24

Hey, pluggers, you guys know that they give the mall Santas a wig and a fake beard, right? It’s pretty obvious when you look at them. Even the little kids can tell, for the most part.

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Shoe, 11/24/24

If I told you to imagine a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, you’d probably think, “Wow! Can’t get duller than that!” Well, what if I told you to imagine two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed? Even duller, right? Thankfully, today’s Shoe artists have tried to fight against the tide, by showing you two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, but you’re seeing them from an angle directly above them for some reason, like you’re sneaking into their house via the HVAC ducts as part of some sort of elaborate heist.

Beetle Bailey and Blondie, 11/24/24

I feel like I’ve never seen a stronger contrast between the quality of the throwaway panels like we have between these two strips today. The Beetle Bailey panels very efficiently establish how Sunday mornings in the Camp Swampy barracks play out and lay more character groundwork for Beetle and Sarge’s relationship. Blondie’s panels, meanwhile, are as lazy as possible, add absolutely nothing, pure clip art dreck that might as well be replaced by a tire ad. And yet when it comes to actual strip punchlines, Blondie is actually funny for once whereas Beetle Bailey … well, not so much. Life is a rich tapestry!

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Pluggers, 11/16/24

Big news for people tired of reading my typed words and interested in hearing my voice: if you fall into that category and you are subscriber to the 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back podcast from Conor Lastowka and Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame, you can listen to me trying to solve an Encyclopedia Brown mystery and, of course, talkin’ Slylock Fox, Encyclopedia Brown’s spiritual cousin in ratiocination, but with furries. “But, Josh,” you’re no doubt saying, “This isn’t a Slylock strip, it’s a Pluggers panel, an entirely different cartoon! Yes, they both feature unsettling human-animal hybrids, but the vibes are totally different! Slylock’s all unsettlingly amped up, while Pluggers is slow, desultory, depressing, fading slowly into nothingness but never quite getting there.” Well, what if I told you that the Encyclopedia Brown mystery we discuss involves a kid who’s a toilet paper collector? It does, and I’m sorry, this plugger clearly owns a “collection” rather than a “stash.” Each roll is lovingly displayed and meant to be examined again and again at leisure by this dog man and whatever weirdos he invites over to look at them. Real sicko stuff, in my opinion!

Hi and Lois, 11/16/24

I was briefly going to suggest that it would be funnier, or at least closer in structure to a “joke”, if Thirsty were just on his side of the fence here, basking in the stolen glow of his neighbors’ fire from his own yard. But I forgot that we’re in the bold new post-punchline era of Hi and Lois and I’m actually pretty OK with the offering we have here, where it’s clear that Thirsty has openly come onto the Flagstons’ property and lit a fire, and they’re standing at the window fretting about what if anything to do about it.

Shoe, 11/16/24

“Soon afterwards, he died of massive internal injuries. He was 56. Rest in power, Mr. Schwartz.”