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Six Chix, 12/12/24

OK, I get the impulse to turn a bitten-out semicircle on this pastry-shrink into his mouth, but the execution is very uncanny. Like I don’t buy that it opens or closes like a regular mouth, it just seems like it’d be open forever, an endless scream, a wound bleeding purple. Not really the most reassuring thing you’d want to see during therapy, in my opinion! Anyway, I’d like to imagine that the genesis of this strip was the writer being told by a therapist “You are loveless but not unloveable!” and instead of applying this insight towards solving her various emotional problems she decided to draw a cartoon about talking Uncurstables® sandwiches instead.

Gil Thorp, 12/12/24

“The catch is made by … Milford?” really makes it sound like Marty Moon has never heard of an “interception” before. “Goshen threw it … but Milford caught it? Is that legal?” [desperately paging through the rulebook]

Shoe, 12/12/24

We all know, of course, that women be shopping. But what if I told you … that in the year 2024 … they be shopping … on the computer.

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Six Chix, 12/1/24

Often after reading the daily Six Chix comic strip, I use this weblog to express opinions along the lines “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I hate it, this enrages me,” so in the interest of fairness I must also let you know when my reaction is “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I love it, this delights me to no end.” Today is one of those days! My favorite thing about the Santa Clams is that there are five of them.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/1/24

Not going to comment on the pathetically easy “mystery” here, but just want to point that Slylock was able to wrap up this entire adventure and capture the raccoon thief while Max was busy running around the hotel like an idiot. It would be hard to come up with a more damning demonstration of how superfluous Max is to this whole operation if you tried!

Mary Worth, 12/1/24

Mary is feeling better but still remaining home in strict isolation, on the safe assumption that any virus that could break through her hard exterior is so powerful that it would kill lesser humans instantly. I guess we’re supposed to think she has Zoom configured on her laptop so that you only see whoever’s talking and they take up the full screen when they do, which would be pretty disorienting honestly, but I’d like to imagine that she has three laptops set up and she’s having three one-on-one Zoom calls simultaneously, which would be much, much more disorienting.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/24

LOOK, REX MORGAN, M.D., IS TIRED OF YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOW MOST OF ITS STORIES ARE BORING NON-MEDICAL DRAMA AND EVEN THE MEDICAL ONES ARE ALSO BORING. HOW ABOUT SEEING AN OLD MAN STABBED IN THE GUT, HUH? IS THAT EXCITING ENOUGH FOR YOU? YOU WANNA SEE HIM BLEED OUT ON THE SIDEWALK? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, MEDICALLY?

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Flash Gordon, 11/7/24

The new-ish iteration of Flash Gordon got a shout-out from Uncle Lumpy a few weeks ago, but I’m here to give it my full-time blogger shoutout! The art is great, and the writing is very fun and captures the fast-paced cliff-hanger-y-ness of old movie serials. There hasn’t been too much to make fun of, but I’m going to start slipping it into the rotation here, I think. Anyway, today there are two important developments: we meet the King of the Lion Men and learn that his crown appears to be made from a wildebeest skull (dark!), and once again have the timeless truth affirmed that any sequential art whose storyline would support it at all eventually trends towards erotic furry stuff.

Beetle Bailey, 11/7/24

There’s been a little bit of an attempt in Beetle Bailey of late to upgrade Zero’s character from “dumb farm boy” to “farm boy with certain legitimate skills and his own point of view,” and today seems to be a big step in that direction. Frankly, I would like to see more depth added to all of this strip’s one-note characters. Lt. Fuzz isn’t just an annoying bureaucratic kiss-up: he’s trying to drag Camp Swampy’s administration into the 21st century while showing respect for the current leadership! Cosmo isn’t just a scam artist looking out for number 1: he represents the sort of individual ingenuity that’s always existed in supposedly regimented structures like the military! And Rocky was … in a gang, I guess? Or is currently in a gang? And gangs represent an alternative form of belonging and identity for those living in economically and socially marginal areas that have been more or less abandoned by the state? That’s what I assume he and Zero were talking about immediately before this strip started, and I frankly would’ve liked to have seen it.

Six Chix, 11/7/24

Folks, have you seen Conclave yet? It’s a banger! Everyone’s got Conclave fever! And by everybody I mean at least me and the Thursday Chik. That’s assuming the movie was the inspiration for this strip, that is, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but makes as much sense as anything else, I guess. Anyway! Go see Conclave today!