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Mary Worth, 10/7/25

This polite jockeying about who should climb down from the balloon first is getting to “a farmer needs to get a chicken, a fox, and a bag of grain across the river in as few trips as possible” levels of complexity, but it seems like they’re failing Logic 101 very badly by ending up with a scenario where the lightest passenger is left in the balloon by herself in the final step, at which point the balloon will lift off from the tree and float away. Honestly this seems like the sort of thing that would be covered at balloonivation school and is another strike against Stanley’s skills. Anyway, presumably Olive will eventually land in some sort of magical realm on the other side of the rainbow, where she’ll seize power and rule behind a veil of trickery, so she won’t be our problem anymore.

Six Chix, 10/7/25

Remember, the Tuesday Chixiverse is the sandwich-fucking one, so it’s not clear if the pumpkin is saying “it’s our time” because the mysterious figures in the background are planning on taking them home to have sex with them, or to carve them up and/or eat them, which the pumpkins’ facial expressions make clear is regarded as a sexually-charged act. Either way, welcome to Six Chix spooky season, everybody!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/7/25

Look, fellas, when your wife tells you to put the toilet seat down, it’s not because she’s a shrew who likes nagging for nagging’s sake; it’s because she doesn’t want to accidentally sit down on the porcelain rim of the toilet bowl. If you, for instance, are a mythical dwarf, and your spouse isn’t, and you have your own specialized tiny toilet sized for your miniature hindquarters, she probably doesn’t care about the seat on that one. I guess it’s possible that the implication here is that the Seven Dwarfs only have a tiny toilet in their home, which would be reasonable given that they’re all tiny, and Snow White, who has moved in with them, resents this and brings it up at every opportunity. Either way, welcome to Mother Goose and Grimm scat joke season, everybody!

Flash Gordon, 10/7/25

I definitely enjoy the fact that Flash Gordon is, canonically, a Yale man, which adds flavor to today’s strip, in which he claims he’ll do well fighting in gladiatorial combat in the arena because he used to win “matches” back in college. Did you play tennis, Flash? Did you win a few tennis matches, back when you were in school, “in New Haven”?

Dick Tracy, 10/7/25

“Dr. Faust, is it? And you thought you could make some sort of deal to your advantage with an evil figure, did you? Not really much for classic literature, are you?”

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Mary Worth, 9/25/25

Wow, back in the day, you could write a long, crazy yarn about an unlikely trio hot-air-balloon-crashing into the remote woods, where they’d never be able to get back to civilization and have to turn to cannibalism to survive. But now they have cell phones and can just call an Uber to come get them or whatever. Boring!

Gearhead Gertie, 9/25/25

It seems particularly cruel for Gertie to use NASCAR analogies for defeating her husband in their arguments, since their arguments are inevitably about NASCAR. But I guess literally everything she says, does, and thinks about is NASCAR. She has no other context! It’s NASCAR all the way down!

Six Chix, 9/25/25

I of course am on the record as enjoying the Tuesday Chik’s sandwich sex strips. But when it comes to perversity, I have to say that I’m even more impressed with this one, which starts off as a corny, punny joke but very quickly gets to a place where we need to accept that this lady loves, has married, and, yes, has sex with a sentient set of stairs.

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Blondie, 9/13/25

Blondie began in 1930, in a world now mostly alien to us, but it was originally a story about urban hipsters: a young woman who the artists imbued with every characteristic of trendy youth culture, and her beau, the slumming, dissolute scion of a wealthy family. You could see a scenario where the strip tried to stay true to those origins while updating to match the changing cultural specifics over the ensuing century. But that’s not how things actually work: instead, a strip’s readership ages and wants something different, and their creators age alongside them. That’s why Blondie in the year 2025 is your go-to for the pettiest boomer gripes about everyday suburban life imaginable, put into the mouths of characters who have completely forgotten that alien world and in their current form have never been cool a day in their lives.

Judge Parker, 9/13/25

Meanwhile, in Judge Parker, Neddy, who was never cool even when she was living in Los Angeles and trying to break into the entertainment industry, has returned home in failure and shame. Abbey has tried to soften the blow by turning their dining room into a simulacrum of a fast food restaurant so Neddy doesn’t feel trapped and isolated on the Spencer Farms compound, but the staff has been unable to reproduce the crispy-edged “smashburger” form so popular in LA, and Neddy is not having it.

Six Chix, 9/13/25

In a strip where people dry-hump sandwiches, the idea of ghostfucking seems frankly pretty tame. It’s like a Gothic novel! There are literary antecedents!