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Mary Worth, 6/13/26

Dawn’s never alone because of her friends! You know, like Cathy, who’s always eating giant salads, and other Cathy, who Dawn probably drifted away from because she didn’t “get” Dawn’s weird and possibly sexual relationship with her art history professor, and her terrible ex-boyfriend Jared, who dumped her and then bullied her into being friends with him so he could feel OK about getting together with the girl he dumped her for, and … uh, I think that’s it. Well, there’s Mary, I guess. She’s sort of a friend. And Tommy! Over the course of the day they’ve at least become friendly. That’s close enough, right?

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/13/26

The good news is that Ma Goose is now reciting her tepid jokes at some random character we’ve never seen before instead of just saying them into the phone. The bad news is that she looks terrible. I think she might be dying?

Six Chix, 6/13/26

Hey, wouldn’t it be interesting if your dog were chased by some kind of giant, nightmarish bug creature? Have a fun weekend, everybody!

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Heathcliff, 5/26/26

When Jewish theologians began to systematize the ideas they had inherited around the spiritual beings we call “angels,” one awkward question they had to answer was where they came from and how more of them could come into existence. While the Enochian literature interpreted the “nephilim” of Genesis 6 as the offspring that resulted from angels lusting after human women, and there was a potential memory of the Holy of Holies including a depiction of cherubim locked in erotic embrace, the rabbinic tradition ultimately rejected these interpretations, seeing the “Sons of God” who sired the Nephilim as noble humans and the art of the Ark representing the union between God and His people. They concluded that angels did not reproduce amongst themselves, but were directly and individually created by God; some of the minor angelic ranks were, based on a verse in Lamentations, believed to have been created fresh by God at the beginning of each day and extinguished at the end of it, while the cherubim and important named angels like Michael and Gabriel were permanent.

But of course, we cannot know how much of this thinking applies to Heathcliff’s cherubim, though we do know that, by some mechanism, their number is increasing. Does our boy Heathcliff create them at his whim and similarly banish them to nonexistence when he tires of them? Or are they sexual entities, like their notoriously horny creator?

Beetle Bailey, 5/26/26

So I looked it up and it turns out that modern tanks take at least three soldiers to properly operate, which leaves me wondering who’s inside that stalled out tank ready to annihilate this lady at point-blank range if she refuses to go along with the Camp Swampy gang’s demands. I’m thinking Zero would be unthinking enough to follow an order to fire and Plato would be coldly rational enough to issue one in the face of necessity. Beetle is, typically, doing the least work here, but doesn’t feel great about it.

Six Chix, 5/26/26

Hey, do you think newspaper comics are for old people? Well, Six Chix is here to prove you wrong, hiring cutting-edge millennial cartoonists to draw panels about … listening to boomer hero Bruce Springsteen’s iconic 1984 album Born In The USA? Hmm. Hmm! At least she’s weeping openly listening to it rather than jamming out, that’s … that’s innovative, right?

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Six Chix, 2/14/26

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Are you experiencing romantic love? I hope so, because if you aren’t, aliens are going to vaporize you, just straight-up transform you into a pile of smoldering ash with an energy weapon of unimaginable power.

Family Circus, 2/14/26

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, and I found the Family Circus kids annoying. When I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways, and realized that the Family Circus kids are supposed to be annoying and that’s like 90% of the joke of every panel. I really like Ma Keane’s facial expression in this one: “Oh, you’re putting it … uh … there? Where we can all step on it? And you’re definitely going to have a meltdown if I try to move it? Huh. Great. Happy Valentine’s Day to me.”

Pluggers, 2/14/26

Look, Chicken-Lady, your husband has always had a sexual fantasy about doing it with a mime, and he wants your help fulfilling it, and if you can’t see that, you’ve got more problems than failing eyesight.

Pickles, 2/14/26

Hey, were you wondering what the Pickles family was up to? Well, the Pickles daughter is worried about her parents, and she should be. They got disoriented and ran their car off the road. They should not be driving! They’re a danger to themselves and others!

Marvin, 2/14/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because as an infant Marvin was left unsupervised by his parents and ate dog food!