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Crock, 6/9/24

Crock is a strip in perpetual reruns for obvious reasons, and today’s (“today’s”) strip is a delightful puzzle to try to figure out when exactly it was published. Honestly the list presented of things we’d all prefer to be shot to avoid is a testament to the long human lifespan, littered as it is with complaints both contemporary (Facebook) and outdated (boomboxes). If I had to guess, I’d peg this around 2009 or so, as social media started becoming unavoidable, the financial crisis had cratered many people’s IRAs, and health care and global warming were both issues the new presidential administration seemed poised to tackle. Old age, of course, will never go away as an object of fear and driver of those who would seek a more exciting death, but honestly trying to map all this out has only made it seem closer for me.

Six Chix, 6/9/24

OK, look, I know enough about modern mating rituals to know they happen on the apps, but as a happily monogamous married person, I don’t know much more than that. Do people use … hashtags, on the apps? Hashtags, the thing famously developed to make it easier to search on specific terms? Are people on the apps out there searching on “#annielikestocuddle”? People who want to cuddle, with other people named Annie, specifically?

Shoe, 6/9/24

Honestly rude of the Perfesser to blame the slovenly state of his home on his barely tolerated nephew/ward, when it’s quite clear that the mess is mostly his own doing. Very sad that, by design, the poor boy will keep getting the message that he’s an unwanted imposition right down to his uncle’s final moments.

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Six Chix, 5/30/24

I “read the comics so you don’t have to,” and I’m not too proud to acknowledge that sometimes that role requires that I alert you to when Six Chix does a strip that’s insane but also good? Today’s is wonderful: it hovers at the edge of comprehensibility, offering up a series of claims that seem reasonable on their face (the existence of foodies surely implies the existence of their equal and opposite numbers, yes? and a golden circle is the logical antithesis to the universal “no” sign?) that dissolve into obvious madness when you spend a moment thinking about them. Plus you get to see this weird little dude eating a hamburger! Perfection, don’t change a thing, no idea what the hell is going on here.

Gearhead Gertie, 5/30/24

Look, I admit that, beyond one night years ago where I took this weird apparatus home that measured my breathing and heartbeat and told me that my (reportedly) vigorous snoring did not rise to the level of sleep apnea, I haven’t had much contact with sleep clinics. But I feel reasonably sure that what goes on there does not consist of doctors (?) gaslighting you into thinking that you shouldn’t be scared of your nightmares. Honestly that experience sounds like the real nightmare! Certainly scarier than watching race cars drive around at safe and reasonable speeds for once. Oh, no, now I’m doing it too!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/24

This week we’ve been getting a little catchup on what the ancillary Rex Morgan characters have been up to, and it’s mostly pretty boring, but I did think you’d like to see what Justin’s whole vibe is now. You remember Justin, right? Niki and Kelly’s sassy friend who had a terrible puking sickness at one point? Well, he’s a hippie now. A hippie skateboarder. A hippie skateboarder … pirate? Also barefoot, if that’s your thing. Don’t worry, these kids are in college now, so they’re supposed to be 18, but are also clearly played by 36 year old actors, so don’t feel bad about it! Check out those feet if you want!

Six Chix, 5/23/24

You know how we make fun of snails for being slow? Well, what if they like it? What if they’re comfortable with being slow and wish more of the world was slow like them? This is a good Six Chix, I’m calling it now. Not sure that snails live in the desert though, seems like their whole slimy deal requires a moister environment, but I’m not going to do any research because I actually find snails kind of off-putting, due to the aforementioned sliminess. Still, you do you, snails! Slowly. Somewhere where I can’t see you.