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Six Chix, 9/13/21

I know I often slag on Six Chix for doing strips that are opaque, baffling nonsense, so here’s a change of pace: today’s strip is opaque, baffling nonsense and I love it! Ha ha, she’s like a dog walker … but for wigs! I think what really makes it for me is that the wigs are on fake wig heads (not sure what the correct term for this is and not looking it up), which are in turn on wheels, because that’s the only way this absurd scenario would even vaguely work. Anyway, A+ work, Six Chix, please keep up to good kind of opaque, baffling nonsense, as opposed to the bad kind, which I will definitely let you know about if you slip up and do it again.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/13/21

I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that the sort of person who has a comics blog is also the sort of person who would get thrown into a tizzy by the revelation that Rex Morgan’s sons are going to kindergarten, but I definitely was thrown into said tizzy, because Rex and June’s sons are babies, right? But that said, the Morgans stole June’s dying best friend’s son in late 2017, when he and their non-stolen biological son were about a year old, so that would make them about kindergarten age now, assuming the Morgans age in real time, which they absolutely 100% do not. The last thing we want is this thing turning in For Better Or For Worse or something. And if Sarah was like five or six when the boys came on the scene, that would make her about 10 now, which is trembling on the precipice of very bad things. Do we want Sarah as a tween? Sarah hitting puberty? This strip needs to step back from the brink now, before somebody gets hurt.

Family Circus, 9/13/21

Not sure whose facial expressions I like better here: Ma Keane’s (“Ha ha, we do not have any jelly without peanut butter in it and that’s very gross, ha ha ha!!!”) or Billy and Jeffy’s (“What, does this dipshit think he’s the King of England or something?”).

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Six Chix, 8/19/21

Only I have the guts to say it: this is the worst couch anyone has ever seen in the comics. At first glance it looks kind of like it might be a futon, which would make its overall low-to-the-floor-ness make sense, but, no, check out the feet and the arm rest at our left! It’s a regular couch, a terrible, terrible regular couch, just couple inches off the floor, seemingly only having an arm on one end. It’s weird! It’s weird and bad and I don’t like it! It’s honestly worse than this lady’s flesh-eating monster-slippers or whatever they are!

Mary Worth, 8/19/21

You know what’s good, though? You know what’s not bad at all? Wilbur’s about to get straight up murdered by a cat, and everyone — the cops, animal control, his daughter, everyone — is gonne hear why and be like “Oh, yeah, he had it coming.”

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Six Chix, 7/1/21

Man, I don’t want to contradict this extremely confident-looking woman, but I’m not sure I’d refer to a wound that’s quite clearly gushing blood and radiating a crown of pain as a “teeny-weeny paper cut.” But maybe that’s the point? Maybe the point is that you too can overcome any injury, no matter how dire, simply by refusing to acknowledge it and focusing your mind totally on how you, and not your weak, contemptible body, shall be the ultimate victor. This will help you achieve true greatness, at least until you pass out from blood loss.

The Phantom, 7/1/21

Longtime readers of this blog and/or Phantom trufans remember Savarna, the vigilante anti-pirate sea captain with whom our hero had a flirtation during a stretch when the evil Chatu tricked the Ghost-Who-Is-Strictly-Monogamous into believing that his beloved wife was dead. Anyway, turns out she’s been imprisoned in Rhodia’s notorious Gravelines prison for a little light assassination of Rhodian military leaders, so the Phantom’s off to rescue her! You might remember Gravelines as the very same prison where he assisted a jailbreak just a few months ago, that time freeing a pal who works in Mexican law enforcement. Everyone else in there, though? They’re going to have to wait on an Amnesty International letter-writing campaign, which with any luck could lead to a strongly worded U.N. Security Council resolution. Hang tight, guys! Colonel Worubu’s working on it!

Mary Worth, 7/1/21

I’m retracting my previously stated concerns about Drew’s coffees. This is a much better use of them than trying to get him to drink them and appreciate it or whatever, please proceed.