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Archive: Slylock Fox

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Monday is for lovers

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Slylock Fox, 3/17/25

Yeah, we get it, Slylock is engaged in a long-running and very sexy game of cat and mouse fox with Cassandra, of which this is merely the latest episode, and check out her flirtatious body language as she makes her fake phone call from behind the jukebox, but … sorry, I can’t focus, because that muscular android Betty Boop is terrifying. Clearly that’s the sort of femmebot that, if released from its glass prison, would immediately strangle anyone who tried to control it with its surprisingly powerful hands. If Slylock were serious about Cassandra getting her comeuppance, he would simply allow her criminal enterprise to catch up with her, but as noted, this is all elaborate foreplay, so he’ll ensure that the Boop-o-Matic remains safely contained.

Alice, 3/17/25

Speaking of strange romance, we’re getting some lore here on the Alice aliens: they apparently outsource all flirting and sexual interactions to their eyestalks, which nuzzle one another while the main portion of their bodies discuss more intellectual, aesthetic, and philosophical matters. Seems efficient!

Luann, 3/17/25

Big news, everyone! The comic strip Luann launched this day in 1985, and after 40 years and thousands of installments, Luann has finally kissed a boy. Took a while but I think we can finally wrap this thing up!

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Grim Tuesday

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Slylock Fox, 3/4/25

They called Count Weirdly mad at Oxford, of course, and the Medical Sciences Interdivisional Research Ethics Committee repeatedly sanctioned him. But he’s shown them now, or I guess he would have shown them, if they all hadn’t been violently killed in the great animal uprising that wiped out most of the human race. Oxford is run by owls or something these days, but he’d like to think that, if any of his old nemeses were still around, they would understand that in this horrifying new world there just isn’t the luxury to muse on medical ethics the way there used to be. And with so few humans left alive, could anyone really fault him for trying to build a new one, as a friend? It’s not like there’s any shortage of corpses to use as raw materials.

Pardon My Planet, 3/4/25

But … you’re the one buying the pie, cow! I really don’t want to think about why this scenario involves cows wearing shirts and shopping in human grocery stores, or why a cow might assume that products made from cow’s milk can render dishes “sanitary,” and thank goodness that I don’t have to, because I have this basic bit of storybuilding to get hung up on instead. If you think the pie is unsanitary, why are you buying it? You’re standing in the checkout line, there’s nobody else there, you clearly picked it out and are now buying it!

Beetle Bailey, 3/4/25

Beetle is … dead, right? He’s not there, they’re putting a memorial plaque above his bed, he’s clearly dead. RIP Beetle Bailey, 1950-2025, you will be missed, to a certain extent.

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Elder Sunday

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Crankshaft, 2/23/25

Wait, why does John need Crazy Harry’s help? By Spider-Man logic, if he had been bitten by a radioactive cleaning lady, shouldn’t he have gained the proportional strength and powers of a cleaning lady, including access to common cleaning lady tools like stepladders and the foresight to deploy them? Or are we actually operating on real-world logic, and after suffering a tragic bite he’s just feeling increasingly feeble and woozy, due to radiation poisoning?

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/23/25

I really love the aside in the last sentence that Slylock can afford the more expensive wand. He makes good money as the Forest Kingdom’s primary enforcer, OK? He absolutely can throw away $8 on a whimsically shaped bubble-making wand if he wants to. In fact, he’s tempted to do so, even though it makes the same normal spherical bubbles the cheap one makes, just to conspicuously display his access to wealth. He’s not poor, got it????

Shoe, 2/23/25

“Also when I say ‘getting married’ I mean ‘making a suicide pact.’ Six of one, half a dozen of the other, amiright? Ha ha!”