Archive: Slylock Fox

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Mary Worth, 6/20/19

Man, I didn’t intend to make this an All-Mary Worth week; in fact, if you had told me on Monday that we’d be getting a whole additional week of Estelle dating drama, I’d have been pretty mad about it. And yet I have been delighted to see a week spent with Mary and Dr. Jeff just taking potshots at Wilbur as they burn endless marine fuel zipping around the Channel Islands. Delighted, I say! Anyway, today we learn that Mary doesn’t really have much of a grip on Wilbur’s personality; she figures that, as a man, he must be “into” “sports” of some kind, but the only “sport” we’ve ever seen him engage in is running around in the woods with his illegitimate not-son. Despite claiming to value Wilbur as a friend or whatever when she was trying to stop him from hurling himself off a cliff, she clearly doesn’t have much interest into what Wilbur Weston is actually all about, and, honestly, who can blame her.

Slylock Fox, 6/20/19

Here’s another Six Differences that takes place at the very day, at the very moment when the animals suddenly Awoke and began the uprising that displaced humans from their place at the top of the food chain. Our enterprising bulldog has already realized he can manipulate tools and has freed his comrade from leash-slavery, while the shocked bunnies look on and realize start to understand their own sudden power. One thing that occurs to me is that a significant majority of pets are spayed or neutered, yet the post-animalpocalypse world has no shortage of puppies and kitties — do you think whatever process changed the animals also reversed the sterilization imposed on them by their oppressors? Anyway, these dogs are gonna go fuck, probably.

Beetle Bailey, 6/20/19

A thing I genuinely laughed at in today’s Beetle Bailey is the guy running in the background of panel one, presumably fleeing from the tornado, while General Halftrack and Major Greenbrass argue semantics. Ha ha, they’re going to be killed!

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/9/19

Slylock, you fool! Count Weirdly has deliberately planted the false “sunbathing” factoid because he knows your mind will immediately latch onto it and you’ll reveal his new invention as a “fake,” lulling the Animal Kingdom into a false sense of complacency. As soon as the disappointed press leaves, he’ll start using the fully functional teleportation device for its real purpose: transporting clothed and armed soldiers from Australia, the last continent on Earth where humans still dominate. At last, H. sapiens will have its revenge!

Dennis the Menace, 6/9/19

Today’s Dennis the Menace is here to let us know, as if we couldn’t have guessed, that the Wilsons’ sex life isn’t that great.

Blondie, 6/9/19

I’m not going to engage much with this strip except to point out that a dog wedding with a cake shaped like a fire hydrant is the equivalent of a human wedding with a cake shaped like a toilet. Can you imagine a wedding cake shaped like a toilet? I can. In fact, I think I’ll be intrusively imagining it for a long time to come. Thanks for nothing, Blondie.

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Slylock Fox, 6/3/19

Since the early days of this blog, I have cruelly mocked legacy strips’ tendency to shamelessly recycle content. So perhaps it is a fitting comeuppance that I, having in nearly fifteen years of blogging become something of a legacy feature myself, sometimes get sucked into the repeats, compelled to comment on the same recycled strip with variations on the same joke! Sometimes I catch myself and sometimes I don’t, but I suppose it makes sense that the same strips would draw me in, since they’re presumably activating the same parts of my comics-mocking brain. Still, it’s I enjoy contemplating the differences in how I react to the same strip, to try to understand how my own mind has changed over the years. For instance, back in 2011, I found it sad that Slylock could only correct some physics facts as this poor stork-lady’s business collapsed around her. Today, I’m reading this and thinking — did she call the cops because her candles were melting? Couldn’t she get ahold of her landlord, or, like, an HVAC repair person? Does she run a candle store and somehow not have an HVAC repair person on retainer? She’s taking up valuable police time! Slylock and Max could be out there finding Slick Smitty guilty of something that isn’t even a crime rather than coming up with ways to save this careless merchant’s inventory! It makes me sick.

Hi and Lois, 6/3/19

Wow, Hi and Lois looked genuinely shattered that their daughter is doing a perfectly normal, if irritating, baby thing! “Oh, Hi! We raised our kids in stultifying suburbia specifically so that they’d respect the sanctity of private property from birth. And we failed! She’s an anarchist, Hi, a damn anarchist. What have we done?”