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Pluggers, 12/5/18

Usually, even though I resent and/or feel cruelly superior to any given installment of Pluggers, I at least understand what the point the panel is getting at is supposed to be, but I have to admit I’m at a loss here. Do … do the inhabitants of God-fearing locales like Plano assume that us big city liberals are too busy doing gay socialism to each other to take the proper care to put on our belts properly? Or is this an obscure fat joke that I’m just not getting?

Slylock Fox, 12/5/18

Which one of these creatures can see in complete dankness? Because every single one of them is high as hell.

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“Hello again kids, and welcome back to World of Animals — I’m your beloved host, Carl. Not much going on back home in Yucatán these days, so let’s explore Nature Facts from all around this wonderful World of Animals!”

Six Chix, 11/25/18

“Ever wonder what turkeys do if they survive Thanksgiving? They dress up in human clothes and memorialize the mass death of their kind in ritual feasts like these. Turkeys are not right in the head, is what I’m saying.”

Slylock Fox (details), 11/25/18

“Differences come and go, but a reptile’s gotta eat. Sorry, Sneaky.”

“Hey, good one, Caleb!”

Prince Valiant (detail, excerpt), 11/25/18

“Did you know humans are among the few large mammals to mate year-round? Looks like these two have it figured out! ‘Time devoted strictly to family’ my tiny tail!”

Mary Worth, 11/25/18

“Have you heard about the theory that cats control people through a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii transmitted in their feces, and that people with compromised immune systems — like the elderly — are particularly vulnerable? It’s true!” “Now that Mary Worth has signed on to take all the crap Libby the cat here can put out, and Libby is clearly taking none of hers, we can all settle in to watch them square off in The Battle of the Controlling Parasites. I’ll pop some corn!”

— Turtle Carl, for Uncle Lumpy

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Spider-Man, 11/12/18

So in the last couple of weeks, the guest stars of both the last Newspaper Spider-Man plotline and of the one just getting under way today both had their Netflix shows cancelled over the past month, which raises an important question: is Newspaper Spider-Man the hell to which peripheral Marvel characters are condemned if they don’t prosper in the marketplace of ideas? Anyway, everything I know about Luke Cage comes from watching the first season of Jessica Jones, and my impression was always that his whole deal was more about his indestructible skin rather than uncontrollable super strength. And really, check out the way that he’s delicately holding what I assume is one of those tiny paper cups you get from the dispenser by the water cooler. It’s his way of saying “I didn’t have to knock this door off its hinges, but, you know, I decided to knock it off its hinges anyway.”

Slylock Fox, 11/12/18

The main thing that concerns me about today’s Slylock is what’s going to happen to that poor li’l baby ape once Harry and his mom get hauled away in handcuffs thanks to some extremely circumstantial evidence and Slylock’s ratiocination. Does animal society have some equivalent of the human foster care system? Or is he just going to be returned to the forest to fend for himself?

The Lockhorns, 11/12/18

It is, of course, entirely believable that the Lockhorns, having alienated all their friends with their palpable mutual loathing, would end up having a tiny birthday party, just the two of them, for Loretta. But I will never get over the fact that the birthday girl, in a desperate attempt to try to inject a certain sense of fun into this deeply grim occasion, has put on a whimsical party hat, and Leroy stubbornly refused to get on board. He won’t even give her this.