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Dick Tracy, 8/21/23

Hey, remember that Dick Tracy storyline that I wasn’t really bothering to try to follow in any detail? Well, it’s ended (?) with the main (??) villain falling into a big pile of pigeon shit. Say what you will about being eaten alive by rats while you’re wearing a gimp suit, but it has a certain dignity to it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/21/23

Galoot? Ruckus? Holler? The roots country bullshit in this strip is reach intolerable levels. Someone needs to call the CDC to quarantine the whole thing until we can figure out what’s going on.

Slylock Fox, 8/21/23

Of course Slylock knows! He’s been standing here watching the whole thing! You’re not making him do any stupid math and it’s not fair.

Mary Worth, 8/21/23

Well, the dognapper ordeal was resolved with the victims restored to physical and psychological health, and then Mary and Ed wrapped up their depressing date, so that means we’re finally ready to move onto a new storyline — oh, wait, what’s that? It’s time for Saul and Eve and their dogs to visit a “dog beach”? That’s, uh, great! I’m happy about this! I love dogs, and dog-related Mary Worth storylines! Please don’t tell anyone I don’t like dogs! [Tomorrow’s banner headline: AREA DOG-HATING BLOGGER CANCELED]

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/31/23

OK, I actually can’t decide now if this is supposed to be Mud being canny or if this app was made by Rene, who got Mud to sign something that gave him the rights to all musical output produced by Mud’s “Fergus” persona, a contract he naively thinks he can somehow enforce in court while he’s currently on the lam for attempted murder. If it’s the former, though, I can see why Buck might be upset, since he dumped (ha ha, get it) Mud as a client due to the pants-shitting incident and now isn’t entitled to a cut of that sweet, sweet app subscription money.

Slylock Fox, 7/31/23

Look, man, do you want to turn kids into communists? Because that’s what you’re going to do when your “Comics for Kids” feature has strips where the state dedicates valuable ratiocination resources to protecting people with yachts and solid gold chess sets from little guys in tiny boats. Sure, Shady is technically in the wrong, but why is it that we’re less than a generation into the Glorious Animal Regime and there’s already such a huge disparity in wealth, hmm?

Dustin, 7/31/23

Being a mom and wife to these two guys in particular is definitely the toughest job in the world.

Mary Worth, 7/31/23

From the producers of THE MUFFENING comes a new dimension in horror: NIGHT OF THE BANANA COOKIES

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Slylock Fox, 7/6/23

I have come to accept that, in the post-Animalpocalypse world of Slylock Fox, one of the Transformations is that the relative sizes of the various vertebrate creatures seems to have changed in inconsistent and inscrutable ways — so that, for instance, Slylock Fox and Cassandra Cat are more or less as tall as the few remaining humans, while Max Mouse remains a tiny rodent, albiet one wearing shorts and an adorable little hat custom-made for his tiny noggin. But what still unnerves me are the giant insects. I didn’t care for Count Weirdly’s mega-bee and I don’t care for whatever dog-sized bug is marring this otherwise idyllic scene. Not into it! Not into it at all!

Six Chix, 7/6/23

A fun fact is that verb forms like “hath” used to just be how normal people talked but once they fell into disuse and were only encountered by most people in Chaucer or Shakespeare or the King James Bible, they got coded in our collective minds as “literary.” What I’m trying to say is that there ought to be a better way to mark out this chicken as a lover of literature. Maybe you could just show him reading a book?

Mary Worth, 7/6/23

“I’m going to go down to the station and update them on all the wild, evidence-free speculation we’ve been doing over the past few days and demand they take action based on it. Cops love that shit, is my understanding!”