Post Content

Momma, 5/26/11

Momma is routinely awful to her children, and all of them are fairly unpleasant to her in return. It’s not clear which was the cause of the other, or if it’s just a sort of continuous feedback loop situation, but today we seem to have reached the inevitable moment when the Hobbes boys move from passive-aggressive comments to outright elder abuse. Still, it’s interesting to note that Thomas has shed his usual preppy garb for zubaz pants, a Charlie Brown-style t-shirt, and — horrors — a baseball cap, worn backwards. It’s almost as if he was unable to become a true monster like Francis unless he dressed the part.

Spider-Man, 5/26/11

Anyone who wants an introduction to the glory and pageantry that is the Spider-Man newspaper strip would do well to review the last couple weeks’ worth of action, which has consisted entirely of people arguing and then almost falling off of the roof before being saved at the last minute. Since Spidey only has enough web to save half of our bickering vampire couple, the fun might end soon. But wait, wasn’t the whole reason Spider-Man needed rescuing in the first place because his web-slinging was on the fritz? And can’t one of these vampire clowns fly, or at least glide? Is it really that hard to keep track of the continuity in this strip?

Mark Trail, 5/26/11

Yes, you can tell this emporium for expensive merchandise is quite popular with the kids. Just look who’s haunting the store: hip young people like the guy who modeled for The Scream (panel one) and the mayor of the Munchkin City (panel two).

Pluggers, 5/26/11

Whole teams of dedicated medical personnel are working around the clock just to keep pluggers alive. And why?

Post Content

Spider-Man, 5/18/11

Oh, the sight of the hapless Spider-Man’s feet sticking uselessly upwards as Morbius the Human Vampire hauls him to safety warms my shriveled heart! You might think, based on the hideous claw Morbius also has a hold of in that panel, that Spidey has been attacked in mid-air by yet another vampire in this chamber of horrors, but no, that’s just MJ’s hand, drawn very badly.

At any rate, Morbius’s transformation into a Non-Human Vampire is clearly well underway, as rather than referring to MJ as a “woman” as a normal person would, he’s going for the stilted “female” instead. I dearly hope that he and his vampire bride are also speaking in heavy Transylvanian accents for no good reason.

Apartment 3-G, 5/18/11

Don’t get upset, ladies! Paul may have partaken in your lady flower-grabbing game, but he is ALL MAN! He did it for his COACH, who was a MAN, who coached him in a SPORT. A sport for men!

B.C., 5/18/11

This sentient talking turtle has been a beloved B.C. character for years, but, uh, I guess he’s going to be killed and eaten now.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/11/11

Oh, Dr. Drew, it looks like your lady-dumping technique still needs work! The bored florist may have convinced you that this sad, overpriced mishmosh he threw together quickly is a genuine “Let’s Just Be Friends® Bouquet,” but I think any lady who sees you show up at your door with flowers in your hands is going to find some mixed messages in your breakup speech.

But! Not to worry, folks: Liza is sure that she and Drew are going to do more than talk tonight! Assuming that she doesn’t have an extended game of charades planned, that means that she likes nonmarital nonprocreative sex, like Charley, which in the world of Mary Worth makes her one of history’s greatest monsters, whose feelings need not be taken into account.

Hi and Lois, 5/11/11

This would be just another lame Hi and Lois strip among so, so many if not for Trixie’s gobsmacked expression as she crawls away from her bickering siblings. She’s not commenting wryly on their contentious ways; she’s suffering visibly from the free-floating anger in the house that she encounters whenever she leaves her “safe space” in front of the living room window, where she is generally blessedly ignored.

Spider-Man, 5/11/11

“Their banter … is giving me reason … to live again … so witty … almost like … watching TV…”