Archive: Spider-Man

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 2/16/18

Well, the social justice nerdlingers marched down to the radio station and gave Marty Moon the business for his racially insensitive on-air banter. Look how excited the kid in panel three is at the sick burn they laid down on Marty when they left! But as much as I’d like to see Marty humiliated and professionally destroyed by a some teens, again — remember the time he got fired from his public access TV show and replaced by a pair of dippy Milford students? — I think they’re going to have to go harder than a little sarcastic vowel shifting if they want to get his goat. He probably didn’t even notice, because he was probably pretty drunk.

Spider-Man, 2/16/18

It’s funny that Bruce Banner and Peter Parker are both supposed to be big braniacs — Banner said in the recent Thor movie that he had “fourteen PhDs” and, uh, I guess Peter did well in science in, uh, high school? — but neither seems to be that interested in the mechanism by which radiation radically changed their very bodies. Like, you’d think they’d want a bunch of analysis and experiments done to ensure that they understand what’s happening to them, whether it’s going to harm them in the long run, whether it can be reproduced, etc. But turns out nope! Turns out Spidey doesn’t care, and as long as Bruce can assure himself that no matter how distasteful he finds his Hulk personality, at least he’s not Spider-Man, he’s OK with it too!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 2/8/18

Mary Worth is, of course, the most emotionally self-actualized character in the comic strip that bears her name. How could it be any other way? All of that is on full display on today’s strip. Mary neither seeks nor fears fame. She’s ready for the attention that her muffins’ greatness might draw to her; but, on the other hand, she knows that the vulgar mob is fickle, and if they turn away from her, it’s their fault, not hers, and definitely not the muffins’. She remains open to and sanguine about all possibilities, with an equanimity that Marcus Aurelius and the Stoic philosophers of old would admire.

Spider-Man, 2/8/18

WAIT WAIT WHY DIDN’T IT WORK … THE FIRST TIME???? Is spider-sense one of those things you have to train, like the way Siri learns to understand your voice better over time? “Huh, he’s about to get whacked by a giant lizard tail. Is that good or bad? Not sure, let’s wait and see! [later] OK, definitely bad, we won’t let that happen again, ha ha!”

Crankshaft, 2/8/18

Oh, whoops, Crankshaft isn’t faking his drug-seeking behavior at all: he’s hoarding pain pills to sell at big markup to his creaky-kneed friends. Are you ready for Breaking Bad, except with more terrible wordplay?

Post Content

Mary Worth, 2/2/18

I suppose “Saul Lewman” is here because Mary Worth doesn’t want to run afoul of the notoriously litigious Newman’s Own foundation, but think about the implications here: Mary and Toby live in a universe where Paul Newman was never born, and where his counterpart had the somewhat more recognizably Jewish name “Saul Lewman,” but still became a famous leading man. Does that mean that Mary lives in a world that was, in the mid 20th century, less anti-Semitic? Did the Holocaust never happen in the Maryverse???? This is a can of worms that can’t be unopened!

Spider-Man, 2/2/18

Having never really read Spider-Man comics books as a kid, and having refused to see the James Garfield Amazing Spider-Man movies because of the absence of J. Jonah Jameson, I’m not really familiar with The Lizard, a super-villain who hasn’t made much of a pop-culture impact. Is his deal that he’s a real asshole who’s mean to everyone? That’s what I’m getting from his appearance here. Not that I’m complaining, mind you!

Dennis the Menace, 2/2/18

Mrs. Wilson covers her mouth in astonishment, as she suddenly makes the connection between George’s odd sleeping hours and the reports of a portly and stealthy masked vigilante who has been rumored to fight crime on the city streets in the wee hours of the morning.