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Archive: Spider-Man

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The Ghost-Who-Enjoys-Poutine

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The Phantom, 3/5/19

If you’re one of the 94.74% of my readers who, according to my analytics, aren’t Canadian, you might not have heard that that wintry nation’s twee, adorable Prime Minister got himself into a bit of a spot of bother by allegedly trying to strong-arm his Attorney General into not filing criminal charges against a major Quebec employer for its various illegal dealings with Muammar Gaddafi. And I know what you’re thinking: not Justin! How could this be! Well, what if I told you that what appeared to be dirty dealings with Libya was just a cover for even more top-secret dealings with Bangalla and its immortal protector? Sure, this scandal might bring down Trudeau’s government, but at least he’ll be sent into political obscurity knowing that he helped the innocent, and that’s what really counts.

Spider-Man, 3/5/19

Wow, this strip took a very abrupt turn from the unnecessarily antagonistic to the surprisingly erotic and … I’m not mad? I mean, since today is Saturday, this is probably just the cheesy wrap-up strip before we launch into a new storyline next week and [checks calendar] … oh my.

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What’s … what’s under the snow in the sandbox???

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Hi and Lois, 3/3/19

Wow, I’ve never noticed that the Flagston house looks … really small from the outside? Like, I know that the design dates back to when the strip launched the ’50s, when new suburban houses were much smaller than they are now. (In a similar phenomenon, the Bumstead home layout dates from the ’20s and doesn’t even have a shower.) But in this comic, the Flagston house looks shockingly tiny, like it doesn’t even seem to have a wing for bedrooms. Certainly it’s not big enough to get amorous by the fire when you’ve got four kids around! Which may explain why the kids are not around, having possibly been left outside to freeze to death.

Spider-Man, 3/3/19

Killgrave is a man with the nearly unstoppable ability to utterly enslave someone with his voice — and having just exposed himself to a special nerve gas, he’s now able to command multiple people at once. Spider-Man and Luke Cage, two powerful superheroes, were only barely able to defeat him. And now they’re going to hand him over to … the police? Sure! That’s going to go great! “Should we have told them to make sure to not take the blanket off of him?” “Ennnh, they’ll figure it out.”

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Saturday is for romance and/or heroic bromance

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Spider-Man, 2/23/19

It’s been a week since MJ threw a blanket over Killgrave, and in that time here’s what happened: Spidey and Luke Cage have stumbled around, partially incapacitated from the aftereffects of Killgrave’s mind-control powers, and Killgrave has run around in a deranged panic, because the blanket is reflecting his own powers back at him somehow. And honestly? It’s been great. If this strip just wanted to be “comical Three Stooges-style slapstick where the main characters have superpowers but mostly just gibber and stumble and almost but not quite fall off of things,” that would honestly feel like it was just leaning into its true destiny.

Mary Worth, 2/23/19

You know what’s a good way to tell what someone’s real age is? If right before they tell you what it is, they say, unprompted, “This age that I’m about to tell you about? It’s my real age!” Remember, the thing all honest people have in common is they loudly talk about how honest they are, constantly.