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Ziggy, 9/6/11

What really makes today’s Ziggy work (and there’s a series of words I’ll bet you never expected to see in that order) are the facial expressions on our two dramatis personae. This could be yet another dumb cartoon about Twitter written by someone who’s heard about, but never actually used, Twitter, but I’m drawn in by how manic and excited Ziggy looks as he scribbles in his diary, along with the look of genuine distress on the face of his parrot (who is named Josh, by the way, and yes, it disturbs me both that Ziggy’s parrot is named Josh and that I know that Ziggy’s parrot is named Josh). What juicy tidbits might Ziggy unleash on the world, via Twitter? Is Josh unsettled by the thought that Ziggy might reveal his deepest parrot-secrets on various social networking sites? Or does just he just know that Ziggy’s innermost thoughts are repugnant to all right-thinking people and should never, ever see the light of day? Anyway, he needn’t worry, as Ziggy isn’t allowed to have an Internet connection, because of the court order.

Mark Trail, 9/6/11

OH SNAP SGT. MCQUEEN IS IN ON THE BIRD-BANDING CONSPIRACY! “I knew this day would come … the day when my pointless, incomprehensible actions would lead to the very mild negative consequences that only exist in my fantasy world. Princess, deliver this message for me … you know where to go … no, Princess! Don’t eat it! Damn you, dog, don’t pretend you don’t understand complex English sentences! Why would I spend so much time talking to you if you don’t?”

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Family Circus, 8/25/11

Ha ha, the Keane Kids are aggressively illiterate philistines, what a surprise! I’m not sure which is sadder: that Jeffy and Billy are encouraging their mother to walk all over books, therefore showing their contempt for learning, or that they’ve managed to soak the entire living room rug, no doubt through some process too distasteful to contemplate.

Jumble, 8/25/11

Ha ha, Jumble Jeff sure likes sewing curtains! And drawing curtains! Wait, wait, that’s the solution to the puzzle, right? “Drawn shades” or something? I’ll just count the blanks in the answer and … God damn it, I hate how dumb the Jumble always makes me feel.

Ziggy, 8/25/11

I think a bird is drowning in the birdbath? Too bad Ziggy won’t be able to save it. He’s not CPR-qualified! He’s not good at anything!

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Baldo, 8/10/11

It took me a moment to figure out that Baldo is supposed to be embarrassed by his family’s ludicrous outfits. I at first assumed that his father subscribed to some religion that operated in a way that was exactly the opposite of most religions and actively opposed shame on general principles. “Baldo, why do you cover your thighs with your sinfully long shorts? Why do you not show the world your package, like I do in my Speedo? It’s what God wants!”

Judge Parker, 8/10/11

You probably don’t remember, what with the exciting last four months of Judge Emeritus Parker getting everything he wants with no effort on his part, but our gal Sophie has a bit of a romantic conundrum, what with there being a boy that she wants but can’t have because he likes some other girl better. Abbey urged Sophie to study the problem in her analytical, borderline Aspergers way, and now she appears to have come up with a solution. Doesn’t she look like a happy young girl in love with a plan to win over the object of her affection? Sure, if taking out the young man and his girlfriend and all of her other classmates in a hail of bullets counts as “winning.”

Mary Worth, 8/10/11

I’m delighted by how much grown-up Gina’s head in panel one looks exactly the same as little-girl Gina’s head in panel two. I certainly hope that whatever family drama we’re about to see unfold involves her parent’s secret horror and disgust at their daughter’s adult skull, perched unnaturally atop her child’s body.

That dinner scene sure is an accurate depiction of life in a cramped New York apartment, what with everyone sitting around four inches from various items of bedroom furniture.

Ziggy, 8/10/11

I was about to make some comment about how Ziggy’s parrot is a paranoid schizophrenic, ranting about how “they” were secretly tracking his every move, but then I realized that it’s really much more likely that Ziggy’s the crazy one, and this is a Son of Sam like situation. “No, he’s the one who told me that they were CIA agents! He’s the one who told me they had to die! Say something!” “SQUAAAAK” “See! See!”

Gasoline Alley, 8/10/11

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date with the pulse-pounding action in Gasoline Alley! I’ve been nervous that it might just be more excitement than you can handle.